~As I'm typing this entry,the whole body especially the butt area,is poking me with its itchyness!~& so the day that I wasn't really looking forward to but was waiting for in anticipation,
has already come to an end.
August 11 2008.
The day Nursahila Bte. Roszelan turns 20.
The age that I've always complaint of being "weird" as it is neither teens nor adulthood.
True to this statement,
that's exactly how I felt throughout the whole day.
Neither here nor there.
Unsure of how to react to my surroundings.
Let's put it this way.
I was actually very dissapointed when I wasn't chosen as one of the frontline people at work just now.
Yes,
I badly want that so that I can at least get a little experience before I proceed on to my next job as a frontline Customer Service Officer at DBS next Monday.
But me being me,
the quiet wall paper that nobody notice everywhere I go,
was being put to the Corres team a.k.a.,
data entry.
I must've been a fool for setting my expectations so high & being all so confident about getting it.
Who the hell will put a quiet close to dumb person on a frontline?
So the basic point is,
I didn't know how to react when they announced the list just now.
Sabz got it I'm sure because she knows how to attract attention & be "oh I don't know how to answer so I'm gna try & be as funny as I can tho' I won't make sense but well as long as I get their attention. *wink2*"
Jealous?
Perhaps...
For the past 3 years I've been trying to understand people's behaviour & how many of us will always be amazed & like attention grabber people like Sabz & Wendy...
While we will always ignore & make wallpaper people like me dissappear into thin air & never to acknowledge us ever again.
Not sure for the rest of the wallpapers out there,
but I am sure hurt by all this "overlooking" of me everywhere I go...
True I hate to create a scene or purposely grab attention unneccessarily but at the same time I've yet to find someone or people who notice us wallpapers for who we are;
Quite but with substance.
I'm not sure why the hell I am writing all of this down.
It's nothing about you Sabz,
really!
It's just that I always question myself why do people always overlook & don't remember me?
What should I do to make them notice me?
Why can't I just be brave enough to make myself outstanding?
At the age of 20 now,
I've yet to feel proud nor a sense of achievement accomplish.
There is still a dark blurry oasis covering my view....
