kinky curlz

2010-09-12T20:29:00.002+08:00

Just 30 minutes ago,
a hari raya house visiting ended with a broken glass frame & bleeding finger & toe.

FUCK

2010-09-12T19:12:00.002+08:00

3 things that I don't want to hear during Hari Raya:

"When are you getting married?"
Bitching of the other relatives.
Quarrels among siblings & relatives.

2,000 in 5 years!

2010-08-25T23:30:00.003+08:00

Was toying around with the new found design tools in blogger and came across a photo video thingy to which I thought
"Hey why not try this tool & compile pictures from the past 22 years of my life & upload them?"
Sounds cool right?
So there I was for the past 2 hours or so,
signing in and out of dusty photobucket and friendster to retrieve all those good old pictures...
*Didn't know I have a Web Picasa account too!*
& not forgetting the old virusy FB account....
To my horror,
there's at least some good TWO THOUSAND over pictures just for the past 5 years!
*faints*
It may not sound Whoah to many,
but Whoah to me!
Since when I took all the photos manz?
I can't even hold a ditzy digital camera properly!

So yupz,
moral of the story,
Whoah!
That's some history tracking for me~

2010-08-23T21:26:00.003+08:00

And so it seems this space has collected more dust than my 6 years living in this house!
Hehx...

Wouldn't it be interesting if there's a device which can read the thoughts and instanteneously update the space?
But then again,
all our thoughts will be known to the world nay?
Well maybe the device can be programme to what content and when we want our thoughts to be updated on the space...

4 months passed since the last update,
& yupz!
Life has been such a rollercoaster that I can't believe I'm still in 2010!
Bummer....
At times I just wish the years will pass by faster so that I'll grow old faster & face the consequences of all my sins...

2010 is definitely NOT my year...
Friendships broken,
people moving away from me,
blood ties breaking,
health dwindling....
At the end of each day,
back to dearest self to pick herself up again...

On a lighter note,
it's the same phase year in year out for the last 22 years right?

It's just a matter of time when I will be completely crazy & trap in the cell alone talking to 4 walls....

2010-04-13T23:34:00.002+08:00

Wouldn't it be great to be young and carefree again...

Life's too confusing...

We chase for things that are not ours,

& neglect things that are ours...

Pardon for the angsty vibes that I've been sending out lately...

Call me pathetic,

call me desperate...

But all I need at this moment,

is a pair of listening ears,

that can be there for me when I need them...

I can't remember the times I hugged Mum as compared to the times I hugged Dad...

I just want to be love,

not hate...

Why can't anyone see that?

2010-04-12T12:29:00.001+08:00

#1 on Hate List:

Mom

#1 on Love List:

Mom

2010-04-08T22:15:00.004+08:00

The weather has once again Garfield-fied me...

Wouldn't it be great if it's the semester break?

Lazing around on the lazy sofa in the hot humid weather with a glass of ice latte in hand,

cool air-conditioned air blowing gently across the room,

Jason Mraz serenading through the radio speakers...

Gosh....

Wish life is that great....

It sucks to begin your day drenched in your own sweat...

Panting and sticky as you make your journey to the MRT from home...

Wiping the neverending sweat that keeps trickling down your forehead and neck until the tissue packet runs out...

All you could think of were cool Ice Tea with bubbles or the cool blue swimming pool that glitters under the scorching sun...

Then you started cursing the train driver for arriving late and not blasting the air-conditioned...

Began staring at brainless commuters who push their asses through the tiny train doors...

Life ain't fun at all when it's a burning 39 degree celsius for the past 4 days...

Though it rained a couple of times...

It's ain't fun at all...

Garfield just want to chillax with a cuppa ice latte...

2010-04-04T00:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes,
I don't know what I'm doing with my life...
I can feel so aimless,
lost,
unsure,
confused?...
I have so many plans so many goals to achieve,
but gravitity is always pulling me back to where I am...
There are so many thoughts running through my mind each day,
so many questions that are left hanging...
It's mentally draining to keep repeating this phase of life that all I want to do now,
is to just sit down...

I'm tired of finding of searching of chasing of changing of pondering of fearing of...........
............................................
I'm just plain tired...

I really don't know what I'm doing with my life...

2010-04-03T01:27:00.003+08:00

Hail the Moooooosic!!!!

Tak Payaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~

Thanks to those that helped me find the real meaning of

Tak Payaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~

a.k.a "Cabarett" in Haitian Creole,
sang by the well-known Wyclef Jean (The doode above) in "We are the World-25 for Haiti",
these are the interesting facts which I accidently found out while madly trying to find the meaning of

Tak Payaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~

1) French is widely speak in Haiti
2) Haiti Creole is the language of Haiti, which is an adaptation of the French language
3) That husky country singer is Jennifer Nettles
4) There's lots of Haiti Creole-English translation online
5) Cabarett might or might not be a Haiti Creole word, as its not in the dictionary...well maybe its really "cabaret"? Who knows...

Plus other things which I can't remember now...
So,
who says music is a waste of time & mindless?

(~.^)

PS: Oh shoot! That girl is so lucky to win $180 on air! Shoot her!

2010-03-21T00:50:00.003+08:00

Who says shopping is a waste of time?????

Shut up you losers!!!!!

Retail thereapy is the most effective way of wasting time & destressing!
Kkz fine so I did mention "effective way of wasting time"...
But hoots!
As long as it's a way of detressing,
it's coolios bebeh~
The best form of retail thereapy is definitely the "oh let's just window shop today" style...

Why?
'coz this are the moment which you will find the unusual "oh-I've-thought-of-getting-this-this-&-this-before" goodies which usually happens to be on sale, discounts, offer, promotions and whatnot....

So what nonsensical I-definitely-don't-need-these-but-I-need-to-since-it's-on-offer-&-I've-convinced-myself-that-it's-a-neccessity goodies I got myself this time?

PS: Bear in mind the main objective was get to get a Chelsea FC Jersey from Adidas only...

1) Miniature Victorian necklace watch - $15

2) Palm size "Quotations for a Special Teacher" book - $4.90

Plus some other "neccessary" goodies...

But the good part was,

I was successfully convinced into being New Look's member & tadaaa!!!!

A stack of vouchers & discounts plus a free bag was thrown into my face!

How cool uh?

All for only one time membership payment of $50!

Vouchers from

Giuseppe zanotti design
Aigner
Liz claireborne
t.m.lewin
dockersHolland & barrett

New Look

Out of which 90% I've never heard of...

Bleh so what?

I'm a happy goober!

Who's not if they only need to pay $20+ for 2 New Look's Bottom?

Not counting the free goodies received...

Hehe...

I is need more retail thereapy!!!!!

Random ones that is...

Not forgetting the aftermath of random shopping with an empty stomach...

8 donuts (2 had been eaten before pics could be taken -_- )

1 Med & Reg freeze

2 scoops yogurt

Yupz that was my dinner bebeh!

2010-03-17T02:48:00.005+08:00

"Telephone" is the new whack video on repeat mode...

Haha...
Reaction: What?.....Oh...Kkz...Cool!!!
Haha...
So yupz...

But what I really need now are:

Brain Juice Extractor....
+
Cheery Mood Implant...

Or I will look like this soon
\/
\/
\/
\/
\/
\/

2010-03-16T00:47:00.010+08:00

I have to say,
the recent balek kampung was one impactful and significant visit...
Especially the visit to Moyang Busu's house...
*Youngest Great Grandparents*

These are the 2 sayings by Nek Yang Busu that have definitely pulled my heartstrings...
*Youngest Great Grandma*

"Ambik buat kenangan, nanti tak tau boleh ambik lagi ke tak kalau dtg lain kali".

*Let's take for memories, you might not know if there's another opportunity on your next visit*

These were said with bright smiles and giggles while we were taking photos with them..

"Nih tak lama lagi mesti ada orang nak, lawa".

*You are pretty, a guy will come ask for your hand soon*

I couldn't help but control my tears from pouring while this were said...

Insyallah Nek...Insyallah...

Kalau ada jodoh...

If only she knew what I've been through...

It's not easy to find someone who truly understand and appreciate you for who you are...

Insyallah Nek...

If only I could let her know...

Thinking of Tok Yang Busu

*Youngest Great Grandpa*

made me missed my own Grandpa...

Would he look like that if he's still around?

Would he wear those clothes if he's still around?

I miss him so much...

I don't know why,

but recent years,

I've been missing my Grandpa so much that there were times which I couldn't sleep thinking of him...

I know it's not good to keep thinking of those who've returned but I couldn't help myself...

I miss him more each time when I'm down...

& I'm longing for him to be by my side...

To be his favourite Grandaughter,

sitting on his laps,

taking walks together and being lost in a shopping mall looking for Toys 'R' Us...

Would he be proud of who I am if he's still around?

Would I still be his little girl if I come running to him each time someone wreck his little girl's heart?

Would he protect me from my folks scoldings?

Would he guide me to the correct path?

Would he lift me up when I'm about to fall?

Would he?

Adik miss you so much Atuk...........

The lovely couple who had made my visit to the kampung,

a worthwhile and precious memory....

Tok Yang Busu & Nek Yang Busu

2010-03-16T00:16:00.003+08:00

Tada!!!!!

The very overdue Kumar update...

In short,

it worth the laughs & sort of set the brain thinking a bit,

though it was a tad bit too short worth the price...

Plus:

I was stop for IC ie. Identification Card *hello, I'm way above 18 larz dei!*
Free condoms were distributed! lolx...Thinnest brand somemore... :p
Me 1st time watching a performance in Esplanade Theatre! *usually watching the free shows or helping out in the events *1st time! 1st time!*

The free condom!

Will preserve & frame it up...hehex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2010-03-04T22:23:00.003+08:00

Driving was my saviour for the day...

If not for it,

I would be agitated, irritated, annoyed with everything in the way...

Bukit Gombak>Clementi>Dover>Jurong>Choa Chu Kang>Bukit Batok>Bukit Gombak...

Road trip ala feeling feeling...

Lolx....

2010-03-02T23:59:00.005+08:00

Omar is the new love =)

Wish I could squeeze it hug it paw it cuddle it use it as my pillow!
Well,

provided it's properly trained to tame with all the claws & teeth extracted out...

Roarrrrrrrrrr.......

& oh,

the kambings are sucha cute creatures too!

I wish I could carry it in my arms & feed it...
So manje.................

Mbeeeeeeeek~

Ooooh I want to go back to the Zoo again & visit all these lonely animals...

Especially Omar!!!!!!!!!!

*Dun worry, I'm not obsess over an animal...lolx*

2010-03-02T00:32:00.003+08:00

Ok I am suuuuuuuper annoyed with this Thursday's school visit schedule...

Can they please *effing* stop changing the timing for goodness gracious me?!

I freaking have a practical lesson at 2.10pm & I can't afford to forgo it as there's no other available slots left this *effing* week and I wouldn't want to sacrifice $59.60 for that freaking session followed by I have *effing* tution at 5pm right after the lesson...

So please please I'm begging whichever doink who's handling the arrangement to please STOP changing the timing please thank you!

* I bet the doink is even reading this entry...whatever~*

Gosh I've never type such a long sentence on this space before...

Anyhoos.......

The 1 week break just kicked in but oh wells,

it still feels the same for me...

School has been an ass with last minute assignments thrown into our faces but as usual,

iLa lurrrrrves putting things to the last minutes...

As for now,

I is just want to chill back & rilex

*yeah right*

& enjoy the following events up the sleeves:

Tuesday - Zoo cum Ain's 22nd! Yippeeee~

Wednesday - Gym cum threading with the Stingray

Thursday - (oh-so-not-looking-forward) Haig Girl's school visit->Driving->Tuition

Friday - sigh project miting with the Nurul...Nooooooooooooooo~

Saturday - Kumar Kumar Kumar!!!!!! Yaynesss~
Sunday - sigh....project again....Mook's with Wani & Nurul...

2010-01-26T02:25:00.002+08:00

My Weekends

Saturday, 23rd January 2010
8.30am: Finally woke up from snoozyland
9.30am: SMS kid's mum informing her I'll start session 30mins late
10.45am: Finally reach the tuition place
12.45pm: End tuition and off to Tampines at my own sweet time
2.30pm: Reach Tampines earrrrrly....sigh...
2.45pmish: Met Hamidi
3.15pm: Finally after dozens of durians dropped from the tree, Zaiman arrived
4pm: Off to Simone's after much debate
4.30pm: Reach Simone's
4.30pm-9.30pm: Hehe haha & dog chasing at Simone's
9.30pm: Get lost from Simone's
9.30pm-10.30pm: Chill@TM's Mac's
10.30pm: Get lost from Tampines
11.20pm: Feeling irritated with a Bangla who kept nodding his head at my shoulder...Idiot!

Sunday, 24th January 2010
12mn: Reached home
1.30am: Off to Mustafa with folks
2am: Reached Mustafa
2am-5.30am: Zombified@Mustafa
5.30am: Get lost from Mustafa
6am: Reached Geylang
6am-8amish: Breakfast with eyes closed & headbanging...
9am: Reached home
9.10am: Knocked out without showering...
4.30pm: Woke up & showered
5.45pm: Family left me at home alone with makeup halfway done
5.50pm: Rushed out the room with makeup halfway done
5.51pm: Rushed back up, cursing & swearing to get hp..
5.52pm: Back in the car & continue my makeup
6.15pm: Reached CCK park to meet Pak Busu's family and nenek
6.30pm: Blew and cut nenek's Birthday cake...Happy 68th Birthday Nenek!
8pm: Both families walked and nonsensing around CCK Park
9amish: Sayonara from CCK Park
9.50pm: Reached home
11.30pm: Told myself 2 hours nap before doing schwork

Monday, 25th January 2010
11.30pm-5.30am: Woke up every hour telling myself "5 mins more"
5.30am: Get off from bed, switched off the lights and snooze...
8.30am: Woke up zombified and as usual, late for meeting with Sha...*smacks*

A very fulfiling and zombified weekends...
=S

2010-01-07T17:21:00.003+08:00

~I hope 2010 will be a better year for me~

That's what people have been wishing and hoping for themselves each & every year...
Same as me!

Well 2009 had been a remarkably good year for my career but a terrible year for friendship...
Lost 2 good friends,
one right smack on the New Year's Eve...
Well not because they died,
but let's just simply put it as:
"I'm no longer needed in their lives as they find me an irritant or simply I'm not important in their lives"..
Well for those who knows,
good for you..
For those who don't,
don't bother asking...

Did I regret anything that happend in 2009?
Oh of corz...
A handful of it...
But what's done,
can't be undone..
Let bygones be bygones...
Hurt?
Definitely...
Life have to move on irregardless...
No use crying over spoiled milk though crying is what I've been doing since the year started..
Lolx..
Such a baby I am...
=p...

On a lighter note,
2009 was also an awesome year as finally!
I got a headstart in my dream when I 1st signed the NIE/MOE bond agreement...
Haha...
Yessa!!!!
After almost a year trying out other jobs,
I'm finally chasing my childhood dream...
Pray that I will do well in this line as I've always dream of..
=D...
Plus,
2009 was one hellavu year of new bonds created (err ya that 3 years "bond" included...sigh)..
the 6ixes...
DBS ladees...
TCeanz diva...
Friends and lovely cuzzin getting married & engaged...
tsk tsk...
Am so happy for them!
Haha...

I dare say being 21 was the best year ever!
New experiences,
new journies,
new friends,
new stage of life (ehem...I wanna be a kid again!)
& oh gosh...
new responsibilities...
haha..
But in all,
I'm happy & contented that all those happened...

As the saying goes,
(plus a dear friend once told me):

"Things happen for a reason"

Am just happy that I still have my family and friends with me through my roughest times...

Thank you so much lovelies...
Hope it will not only end here...

=D

2009-12-14T21:02:00.002+08:00

New Year's Resolution (for now)

Attain drving license (June 2010)
Master cooking (Dad's req...sigh)
At least $** in savings acct
65kg

Quite a heavy resolution to accomplish...
Especially No.2...

Urgh!!!!!

2009-11-15T23:54:00.002+08:00

Why am I complaining????
Just do the followings:

Get a new freaking wardrobe / drawers
Stop shopping!

Well point 2 is extremely hard to follow...
But heck!
I need a new freaking space for my stuff!

Sponsor anyone?

heheh

2009-11-06T18:20:00.002+08:00

*pardon the grammer, it's been eons since I blog & used proper English*

Do you feel envious each time you see Angmohs speak?
Well at least I do!
It's not the slang or the pronunciation that awe me,
but it's the personality and the confidence;
how they managed to turn a conversation on ice water so exciting and engaging!
how a simple question on "what do you want honey?" turns into something so adorable, so caring
(it's a convo between a dad & his lil daughter btw)

During lunchtime a few hours ago,
an Angmoh couple with their young children came into the cafe for a cuppa...
Trust me,
they were both so patient yet firm with their daughter..
Kkz here how it went...
Daddy went to the counter for order while the Mom was already seated with the baby...
So,
daughter came running to Daddy,
"I want bagel! I want bagel Daddy!" repeatedly
She was not crying, nor was she happy..
Both parents,
especially the Mom
(from the seat)
Urgh I just can't explain the scenario!
I'm lost for words now....
It's just simply,
captivating & adoring...
They let their children run loose and yet,
they are still very discipline..
No shouting,
running around like hooligans,
disturbing people..
They are just,
awesome!
Sigh...
How I wish our locals are like that..
How I wish Malay parents aren't so hard on their children..

Kids need to be let loose & explore when young!
Hear me parents & future parents!

& oh there's this particular barrista in Sembawang Shopping Centre's Starbucks who is just so charming!
Not 'cause he's hot & stuff,
trust me,
he's not.
But he just have this particular warmth personality that is simply WOW!
He can simply open his mouth to welcome anyone & have a chat with anyone that enters or exits the cafe...
Old aunties, angmohs, small kids, nosy locals...
He simply entertains all of them with a smile...
How terrific can that be?
There was this once,
uhm well just a lil' while ago actually,
I was feeling damn groggy and it showed on my face as per normal,
so I decided to leave my seat to take a walk around e mall for a while...
So when I was about to exit the cafe,
I took a handful of serviettes
(I'm having a bad flu).
He looked up from the counter & gave that
"Oh gosh I'm so tired + don't worry your belongings will be safe here".
Well of course I felt sheepish & snotty for being so cheapo in taking sucha amount of serviettes and left the cafe...
Haha...
But hoots!
That was actually a nice way for a staff to give assurance to its customer.
Well at least that was how I felt larz...
& a guy who simply can open up a conversation with anyone is just damn adoring & charming..
Kkz don't get me wrong here...
That's not my purpose of coming here to study..
But I'm always in awe each time I see people behaving such way!
Well coz I'm not that way & I speak my feelings through my facial expression....

Kkz I'm tired now & Daddy is still ain't here yet...
I need my sleep....

2009-10-15T02:44:00.002+08:00

Jason Mraz rock people's asses big time!
Where in the peanut can you find such talented & natural born talent apart from Jason Mraz?
Give him a tin can & he still can produce music!
I'm so lucky to have come to Singfest 2008 & watch that adorably cute awesomest cutie performing live on stage!

U rock the world Jason Mraz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS:pls ignore the stupidly wrong sentence structure....I dun give a penny butts about it....

2009-10-11T05:07:00.002+08:00

Woah rayer with the TCeanz can never end early...
It just keeps ending later & later & later each year...
This time around,
reach my home sweet home at 345am sharp!
I was damn shag that I didn't even have the energy to remove the makeup & stuff..
But being a damn vain kid,
I dragged myself to do so...

Why we ended so late?
Well TC being TC,
our actual meeting time is always 2hrs behind the schedule time..
Bummer...
Started at 130pm when initial plan was 11am...
Well that's fine,
all of us are used to it..
Hehe...
But the main reason for ending late was,
*bear in mind we only went 8 houses & we were driving*
we kept making wrong turns despite following the GPS system..
Hmm actually it's only to 1 house that we oveshot...

So ya,
tadaa!
It ate into our time...
Plus,
we linger at each house approximately an hour each...
Hehe...

Geddit geddit?
So yalor...
Late lorz...
>.<

Kkz now,
I need my beauty sleep or I'll look like a beast!

So,
tata!

Pictures will be up soon in FB!

PS: Mum is still being a *^%^&$% over that small incident! Urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-08T17:40:00.002+08:00

Urgh hungry hungry....

Cheesefries....
Lemon chicken rice....
Cold soda.....
Wherefore art thous?

Macdonald...
Sarpinos....
Banquet....
Wherefore art thous?

I need you......
Oh food food food....
I need you NOW!

2009-10-05T02:10:00.002+08:00

Argh I don't understand a doink of all the assignments!!!!!
Job well done iLa...
1 week break & zero progress...

Syabas~

2009-09-28T01:06:00.003+08:00

"I go to National Library to relieve myself "....

Hehe...
Yupz!
That's true!
My initial visits to the National Library in Bugis were directed to the loo...
Why you ask?
Well,
let's just put it as urgent,
& I needed a reasonably clean toilets with low human traffic...
I mean,
hey,
have you guys noticed the traffic flow at Bugis Junction's toilets?
It's horrendous plus there's always lack of toilet rolls...
When you are on a high tide,
nothing can stop you...
Haha....
So the solution?

"Let's visit the ones in National Library!"

Hurrah!
It's cleaner,
plus there's like 30 of those!
Kkz exaggerating but hey,
at least you don't have to take numbers to enter....

Heheh....

So in conclusion,

1. How often do you go to the library?
once / twice a month on average

2. How often do you borrow books from the library?
NONE!

So now you know....
Nyehehehehehehehehe

2009-09-24T23:50:00.002+08:00

The HOLIDAYS are in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yessa~

Am so looking forward for the Jalan Raya & spending time with Mama...

Yay yay!!!

2009-09-23T12:36:00.002+08:00

YES YES YES!!!!
Assignments submitted!
Finally!
Now it's up to fate to decide my grades...

Que Sera Sera....
Whatever will be,
will be....

Now it's time to party babeh~
Hmmmm what should I do for recess week next week?
1 day down for 6ixes Jalan Raya...
1 day down for Jalan with family to Johor....
I still have errrr....
9 days to plan...
Hmmm....
Hmmmmmmmm....
What should I do?

I need to go shopping...
Who's on for shopping?!!!!!!!

Kkz I'm crapping again now....
Wheeeeeee~

*Remember my name,
FAME!*

Oh ya maybe I can drag Stingray for movie & gym...
Yayness~
Me need gym badly right now...
All the rendang & kuihs have invaded my tummy..
Lalalalalalalala........

Woooohoooooooo~

2009-09-19T04:02:00.000+08:00

Shyt...
300 words over...

KNN...

How??????????????????????????????

*faints*

2009-09-19T03:38:00.001+08:00

Argh my essay is too long!!!!!
Help!
Anybody know how to do summary???????????????????????????????

2009-09-19T02:40:00.000+08:00

I'm so unproductive...
Not a single assignment is completed...

Gosh!

2009-09-17T11:58:00.001+08:00

Yay Class ended!!!!
Woooohoooooo~

=D

2009-09-16T19:52:00.002+08:00

I can never be tired watching MJ performed over & over again...
He's trademark concert performance,
running the whole width of the stage over & over again...
He might be full of drama during his performances,
but wow!
It's more real than his surgeries...
Though he might be lip synching most of the time,
he sure had one hell of energy....

Okz I'm rambling...

Am super lazy to con't with assignment....
Hmmmm what should I do?
Am to lazy to tidy up the room....
Hmmmm...
Am just lazy to do anything...
I just want to laze around....

Oh didn't know the Starhub promo was actually regarding the Mobile Broadband USB thingy...
Silly me....

Okz I'm rambling again...

Gosh I'm so bored!

2009-09-16T14:59:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh...
Mukhlis tutorial in 30mins time....
Grrr.....
Please iLa,
use your brain to answer his questions later kkz...

*faints*

2009-09-11T01:07:00.002+08:00

It's 1.07am & I still can't get my mind to start on the assignments...
You are screwed iLa.....

2009-09-10T00:05:00.002+08:00

Today is officially,
my,

~BIMBO DAY~

Events of the day:

Came 30mins early for group discussion before beginning of the day
Pack my bag according to yesterday's timetable....
Virgin wireless user
Insist that taugeh was from a tree/plant....
Don't know what is cavity...

Alot other incidents happened,
simply too much to list it down here....

~Bimbobulutic~

2009-09-03T23:06:00.003+08:00

"It's not due to the fact that they are busy or tired,
but because you are NOT IMPORTANT to them...."

100% TRUE!

2009-09-03T06:43:00.003+08:00

Is it just me,
or my "friends" only needs me when they have no others to turn to?

Fuck hell!

2009-09-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

Extremely sleepy....
-_- Zzzzzz

2009-08-30T15:53:00.004+08:00

Michael Jackson
"They Don't Care About Us"

Skinhead,deadhead
Everybody gone bad
Situation aggravation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dogfood
Bang bang shot dead
Everybodys gone mad

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

Beat me, hate me
You can never break me
Will me, thrill me
You can never kill me
Chew me, sue me
Everybody do me
Kick me kike me
Dont you black or white me!

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

Tell me what has become of my life
I have a wife and two children who love me
I am the victim of police brutality,
now Im tired of bein the victim of hate,
you're raping me of my pride
Oh for Gods sake
I look to heaven to fulfill its prophecy...
Set me free

Skinhead,deadhead
Everybody gone bad
Trepidation,speculation
Everybody allagation
In the suite on the news
Everybody dogfood
Black man black male
Throw the brother in jail

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I ivisible 'cause you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty now
Im tired of bein the victim of shame
They're throw in me in a class with a bad name
I cant believe this is the land from which I came
The government dont wanna see,
but if Roosevelt was livin he wouldn't let this be,
no,no

Skinhead,deadhead
Everybody gone bad
Situation,speculataion
Everybody litigarion
Beat me,bash me
You can never trash me
Hit me,kick me
You can never get me

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

Some things in life they just dont wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin,
he wouldnt let this be
no,no

Skinhead,deadhead
Everybodys gone bad
Situation segregarion
Everybody allegation
In the suite on the news
Everybody dogfood
Kick me,kike me
Dont you wrong or right me

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They dont really care about us

2009-08-24T21:13:00.005+08:00

SEMANGAT 5 MINIT!!!!!!
*5 minutes motivated*

23 August 2009
9.33.02pm
A: "Hey girls! =D let's meet at 10am at Boon Lay tmr? We'll study until 3.30pm......."

9.38.44pm
A: "..........We're gonna study sastera & sejarah Melayu"

9.42.27pm
A: "Hahaha! We shall have a crash course tmr!....."

9.46.37pm
A: "Hahaha okay set! See youuuu."

24 August 2009
10.00.37am
A: "Babe! X said that she has to meet her friends for group project...Do you still wanna go sch?"

10.11.11am
A: "Babeeeee I think I'm gg to school around 1230...Where are you? Pls answer, I hope ur still at home!"

*SMS sent with 3 missed calls, the whole time, I was in e shower
Came to an agreement to meet at National Library 1pm instead*

11.22.05am
B: "Ah kkz...ku nk snooze dlu...zzz"

11.52.26am
A: "Hey babe, I'm seriously sleepy hahaha. How eh? Can we study from home? Lol..."

11.56.12am
A: "Eh! Maybe we can go woodlands librabry! lol"

12.07.35pm
B: " I'm slpy too...bt manageable larz i tink...at hm i'll snooze...hehe..u kum my hs larz we study...hoho"

12.09.37pm
B: "Haha...nak? Dkt benor ngn umah ku...nyehehehe"

12.17.26p,
A: "Hahahaha! Aku ponnnnnn. Kirim salam sudah babe! Blaja online. Lol"

12.28.51pm
B: "Dok, ku da golek2, kemalasan terserlah ah...Lolx"

12.31.23pm
B: "Kkz set...naseb baek ku lumz siap btol...i'll online 3ish lidat..so cya jela ek =P"

*5 hrs later*

5.29.41pm
A: "Guess what? I just woke up at 5pm! Lol, sorry if you were waiting for me online..."

6.30.12pm
B: "Beb gues wad? I juz woke up! =p tkpela hor..we blaja durin tmr 3hrs break..WE MUST!!!;)

These are the convos between 2 humans from 9pm 23 August '09 to 6pm 24 August '09...
Lesson learnt:

DO NOT PROCASTINATE!!!!

2009-08-24T00:06:00.004+08:00

"The Triumph"
A new teacher, Mr Clark (Matthew Perry), was sent to a class full of notorious but smart 13th grader kids in New York. Rope with bad family background & "school sucks" attitude, these kids simply didn't want him as their teacher at all. Countless previous teachers had only lasted with the class not more than a week.
However, driven by his determination to change these kids, he changed his approach & taught them the meaning of "family" through learning what they love most. He danced & rapped with them in class, played skipping rope during lunch, & even visit them at home. Slowly, the kids were able to warm up to him. Most of them even shared with him their hobbies, even the most rebelious kid in the class was able to sit on the chair with his face towards the board (he initially sat on the table with the back against the board). Not all went well though; he felt sick, received complaint from a Mum, etc etc...But that didn't stop him from doing his job in motivating the kids.
The hard work paid off in the end when his class came up tops in the whole cohort with one of the students received perfect score for 2 subjects. His positive thinking & commitment received praises from the other teahers & the principle.

Bumped into this movie while I was lazing around at home on a chilly Sunday afternoon...
Inspired teachers, teachers & alike are recommended to watch this movie.
Although there are similar movies/films like this in the market,
to me,
this is the most relevant & realistic example of the current classroom.
From the way how the kids are so disrecpectful towards the teacher,
to how he felt like giving up on the class,
it's full of reality.
What inspired me the most were his determination, commitment & motivational spirit.
How he was able to use reverse psychology to motivate these kids.
How he stoop so low so as to learn from these kids & encouraging them to warm up to him.
How he was able to build up his own spirit just for these kids.
Though not the whole movie was realistic,
majority part of the movie can be taken as a learning point for classroom management, educational psychology as well as motivational spirit that 1 should have as an educator.
=D

2009-08-22T02:01:00.002+08:00

Cash out from the bank once again...
But this time,
it's for a good use!
Yessa iLa!
Bought 2 jeans!
*ehem ehem plus an accidental purchase of a watch =P*
Long-term investment babe...
It's hard to see me head down to town with nothing home...
Heheh....

& so....
why the hell am I blogging now?
I'm suppose to be compiling the ICT assignments!

SHOoooOoo!

2009-08-18T01:29:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh my average daily spendings are $140!

That means I need to earn roughly $4K to continue with this lifestyle!

1/2 a grand gone automatically once the pay is in,

1/5 of a grand gone for the transport,

another 1/5 of a grand gone for the toiletries,

1/3 of a grand gone for food...

So where's the savings ya'll ask?
Go figure out the calculations if u may...

2009-08-17T01:54:00.002+08:00

I will have to announce this loud & clear...

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU NUR AAINAA MARDHIAH!!!!

After years of slavery,
at last,
you managed to attain the well deserved cert!
I know how you were always complaining of the fatigue of juggling studies & working but hey,
finally,
the cert is in your hand now!
It's yours!
I can't stop saying this,
but I am really very proud of you darlz...
It might not be anything wow,
but I can feel the relieve of finally achieving & receiving something that you've yearn for long...
I'm just so happy for you!

Keep the hardwork going girl!
Insyallah...
Your future goals & aspirations will come through!
With sheer determination,
anything is possible!

Although it's not me who received the cert,
I can feel your joy receiving it!

Yayness!!!!!!!!!
=D

2009-08-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

Shisha is bad for your health...
Now I understand why...

Dammit!

2009-08-11T00:11:00.001+08:00

I'm so excited I can't sleep!!!!
9 more hrs before skool starts!

*jumps around maniacly*

2009-08-10T17:34:00.005+08:00

Above are the pathetic jump shots that we tried to take in the middle of the road...

Hakz...

NDP fireworks was sucha bleh that I'm sure all of us down at CT Hall went bleh "that's it?"
Thank goodness the nonsense people were there to replace the bleh fireworks...

Met Elfie & Mimi 1st before meeting the rest at CT Hall coz I was simply damn bored at home with no food & nothing to do...

Then yada yada yada met the rest & hurrah!

Pictures pictures pictures....

*Lazy to upload here, want to see, go to my facebook*

Finished fireworks & we all went,

"So? Where we going after this?"

"Eat lar eat larz!"

Kkz fine...

So out we went towards Suntec...

Buuuuuuut....

Kkz here comes the adventurous part...

We climb over fences,

only to realise,

we had to U-turn to our initial place as that was the only exit towards Suntec!

So just imagine,

we are at point A,
then we walked towards the fences, climb over it,

walked straight,

only to realise,

we were back at point A...

Lolx...

Oh ya & I have to mention,

it happen twice at least...

-_-...

Then walk walk walk yada yada yada...

Oh empty road!

Let's take photo!

Pictures pictures pictures...

Jump shots!!!!!

In the end,

kena chased by the police...

Haha...

Finally,

reached Suntec,

sat outside Starbucks,

no no,

not the Alfesco area,

the other outside,

air conditioned area,

& wait for Syura & the other 2 Asyrafs

*there were 3 Asyrafs with us*

Bla bla bla...

Pictures pictures pictures...

"Eh go home larz"-Diana

"Ala but I want to eat"-Raihani

"Eh u guys decide where to eat oredy?"-Nadzirah, after missing for like 10mins...

So in the end,

left me Nadz, Raihani, Asyraf Johari,

eating unhealty on the budget 7-11 outside another Starbucks...

Hahz...

so ya...

& oh ya did I mention we kept taking videos instead of photos?

Haha...

That's what happened when cavemans uses IT gadget...

Hehe...

*Peace*

Long breaks are no fun

2009-08-07T01:45:00.005+08:00

It just sucks so much when you have super long breaks & all you do is rotting at home...
Bummer...
Plus you just have too many long sleep that your head spins,
making you too tired to even sleep or take a nap...

I simply hate having long breaks & nothing schedule during these periods...

Somebody save me please!!!!!!!!!!

Oh plus my songs simply can't be displayed & play...
Fantastic...
Super grrrrrrrrrrreat!

Oh & did I mention that my head is swirling at the moment but the body is just aching so badly that the mind refused to let it to sleep?

2009-08-04T01:09:00.002+08:00

Yay yay!
Me is feeling over the moon~

Kkz here are the summary of what I've been doing:

A super boring 3D2N camp in NTU which I only attended on the 1st day
Short meetup with the K56 kids
Officially left NVPS on the 27th July
Went to IKEA to grab stuff for room! Yippeee~
Bought a pair of kebaya for Hari Raya :p
Paying back my last Ramadhan's incomplete fast...
Registered for my NIE course with complete blurness...
Sucky NIE e-Orientation...
Shopping shopping & more shopping *brims*
Brief meetup with the DBS batch in which our cravings for Novena's TCC wasn't fulfill due to the renovation... Grrr....
Caught Transformers 2 with the folks...Quality time together...
Escape from camp to Sentosa with Ratna Sari Sutara...
Overnight at Nad's after the gathering...hehe...
Messy job handover to Fitri...Sorry darlz... :(
Random Swensen's with the NVPS twice... *winks*

Here are the stuff that are still lingering in the mind:

Unplan long NDP weekends...
Boring 21st Bdae Celebration *in fact no plan at all, all too busy or simply no one remembers....sigh*
How to arrange my room?
Tempting for Bintan
Dying for Sentosa...
Sad & disappointed that no one bothers about my bdae....Haiz...
In desperate need for eyebrow threading...

Oh wells, that's it for now!

2009-07-15T20:00:00.002+08:00

Some people are just very irresponsible...
You've lend them your stuff & they can simply say,

"Ops! Girl I dropped your tights while I was hanging it to dry. I went down to search for it but it was nowhere. How much you bought it for? I will pay for it"

Siallah!
That's it man...
2nd thought to be involve in another production with this group,
I guess I will stick to my initial plan...
NO WAY!
With attitude like this,
forget it man!
True yes I do miss it all but with low mindset & disorganisation,
hell NO will I ever want to continue...

Why am I making a big fuss of a lost tights?
1: I hate to lend people my stuff during productions.
2: I hate people losing/destroying the stuff that I lend them.
3: I hate people who tell lies.

To whoever who reads this,
for your own info,
I've made the person who misplaced my eyeliner for a production,
to go & buy me a new piece...
I hunt him down each week over & over again,
until,
he came up to me with the new eyeliner...
Exact same brand,
exact same shade...

& why am I being so fussy?
Simple...
If you want me to like you,
be a responsible person...

'Cause once you are in my blacklist,
that's it...
You can never erase that label...

Trust me...

2009-07-14T12:59:00.002+08:00

Kkz it's official...

I'm MISSING K56 BADLY!

As the days flew by,
I can't help but to think,
"Ok Tues and Thurs I'm busy till late"...
What is it that I'm busy with at this point of time?
Nothing!
I'm now super free except for days which I have tuition and the other days,
I'm a free bird!

& I must stop thinking of people coming down to Sembawang at night...
I must stop thinking that we will still be meeting regularly each week for practice...
Grrr....

I so miss the whole thing now...
From the internal drama,
the bitchy convo,
people calling me "Cikgu",
*wooohoooooooo~*
me purposely coming late for rehearsals because people are always late for it and I hate to wait for people,
the dance practice which I suck so badly that I wish I don't have to dance,
the kids antics',
in short,
ALL!

Each time I watched the vids or the pictures,
it feels as though the show's hypeness can still be feel...
As though the show is just about to start...
As though we are just nearing the big day!
But no...
It's over...
It's over before I can even realised it...
It's just so unfortunate for me that I have to be down with flu the production week...

Haiz...
In all,
I miss everything...

='(

2009-07-13T09:41:00.002+08:00

Finally,
the show is over...
Glad that it's finally over but at the same time,
kinda sad that it have to end...
Have to admit I don't really miss this production as much as the previous productions,
but still,
the post-production blues can still be felt...

The past 2 days I woke up with the songs ringing in my head & the scenes playing through the mind...
How I wish there's an encore...
I did have fun during the shows although I was having a very bad sore throat and couldn't project the voice that well...
& sorry guys I couldn't ton with ya'll that night
*although its my idea to ton :P*
Really had to go back home to rest...

I just couldn't describe how I felt that day...
Really,
it's an eye opener...
Due to this musical,
I feel closer to my religion & culture & I am really touched by all the effort to make it into a family bonding thingy though it doesnt really work all the time...

Sigh...
When will I be in another production?
Now that I'll be entering NIE soon,
I guess I have to slow down or stop being involve in any production for the time being..
Being tied down to a bond is a serious matter..

I miss all the people coming down to my hometown for rehearsals and all the bitching sessions...

2009-07-10T13:04:00.002+08:00

How I wish the nose can be taken off & on whenever we need it...
It's been stuffy for the past 1 week or so...
Oh manz...
Why must the sinus act up each time a production is nearing?
Sigh...

Been down with flu (what's new uh) for the longest time...
No time for recovery thanks to the tight schedule with rehearsals,tuitions, school,4hrs sleep each day, freezing weather etc etc...
No time at all to even react to anything...

Haiz..
Till at this moment,
am still trying to digest the news received this morning...
I was just too shocked to even do anything...
I just sat there at my desk & stared at the hp screen...
Thank goodness I didn't have any period for 2hrs...
Otherwise,
I wouldn't know what to do...

I'm exhausted...
Too much things to absorb within this short period....

I need strength...

2009-07-02T00:20:00.002+08:00

Why am I feeling uneasy?
Somehow I got a feeling that something might be wrong somewhere sometime...
Manz...
Hate this feeling so much...
So many things are happening,
so much to absorb....

I just don't know how to express it...

2009-06-29T23:24:00.003+08:00

Kkz the summary of my life:

I'm entering NIE in July!!!!!!!! Woooohooooooooooooooo~
Am still shock & trying to absorb the fact that MJ is gone... ='(
K56 is in 2 weeks time!!!! Yesssssssssaaaaaaa
Exhausted & down with flu for the longest time...
Am terribly in need of a break...
Dying for sheesha...

At this point of life, I don't bother if I'm slow at work or the shits are piling up...
All I need now are breaks, lepaks, cafe sessions to ease the mind away...
It's simply too much to absorb at the moment...

PS: Tular, mama da bilang jangan jadi busy giler...ah amek ko obat!

2009-06-25T00:28:00.003+08:00

Fug!
Am I allergic to my all time favourite CHILLI & MILK?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

Btw,
I'm sucha Starbucks girl...
I realised I've been drinking it close to 10 times this holis!
Oh gosh baby,
that explains why to alot of questions...

Na'ah....

2009-06-24T01:41:00.002+08:00

Once again I'm feeling restless & I don't know,
hungry?
I really don't know how to differentiate stomachache due to hunger or gastric or simply due to other reason...
Plus gosh,
I don't have the appetite to even lick any food the whole day...
What's wrong with me?????
Urgh!

I miss school life so badly nowadays...
Keep wishing I'm still in school,
skipping lessons,
gossiping with the ladies,
commenting on the fashion parade,
cheap food...
Haiz...
I want to go back to school....

2009-06-23T00:33:00.002+08:00

Ok something extremely dumb happened today...
Went to gym,
halfway through,
"Shit! I forgot to bring my lingerie! What am I going to wear after shower later?"
& so long story short,
zoom off to Minoshe to grab the on promo lingerie...
Which in total,
2 bras + 3 undies = $40++...
Kerchiiiings deposited uncessarily...
Kkz nevermind...
After gym & lunch,
zoom of to Shaw Centre to grab my "almost-2-months-since-order-date" which means that "it's-going-to-be-discard-if-I-don't-collect-it-in-a-week's-time-from-today" contact lenses which oh my God!
They just took under 5 minutes to serve me!
Am very well impressed by it....
Oh well compared to the over 1 hour waiting time when I ordered it almost 2 months ago...
& so,
it cost $40++...
Kerchiiiiiiings deposited uncessarily (again)...
& last but no least,
bumped into a oh so pretty top & so what was I waiting for?
Grab pay whoosh from the stall...
it cost $10...
Kerciiiiiiiings deposited uncessarily (again again!!)...
& so after the bank groaned uncontrollably in pained,
we decided to chill at Starbucks while trying our best not to criticise kiddos wearing "hot pants" & t-shirts to town...
*roll eyes big BIG*
Shan't further comment on that...

Moral of the story?
Ladies,
do keep a healty bank (& tummy) during the holis...

What the $%^&* is this stupid caller talking about the deejay??!!!!!!!!
Fucking pervert shit man!!!!!

2009-06-22T01:46:00.002+08:00

Omg so much work to do!
Can the government like extend the holis for like another 4 more weeks?
=p

Anyhooooooos,
Happy Ayah Day!

Nothing extravagant
*cause we cleverly celebrated it last week by mistake hehe*
only ordered Ayah's favourite Banana Chocolate Cake from Secret Recipe & ate it like hell..
Hmmm... Hmmm....Yummylicious~
& oh ya Mama cooked the sacred Hari Raya Ayam Masak Merah & that too,
I ate it like hell...
Now now,
my tummy is rolling like hell...
Heeheee....

I've been spending like hell that I didn't realise,
yikes!
Only a quarter of this month's pay is left!
Aiyoyoyoyo....
The holis are really sucking out the kerchiiiings outta my bank....
But me is lurve to spend......
*winks*

Below are the urgent immediate stuff I need to get:

2 pairs of Cotton on 2for$25 pumps for school
Black corset
Black plain boring lifeless heels
Liquid Eyeliner (oh well as usual, lost during photoshoot...sigh)

Kkz that's all for now...
I swear there's a whole lot of other things which I need to get but I guess that have to put on hold till *sobz* the next pay...

PS: Oh gosh, I'm damn itch for the dancefloor

2009-06-19T00:40:00.002+08:00

Haiz...
I've never ever in my whole life,
want a production to end so badly...
Yes I do count down to the days just as all my other previous productions,
but it's not coz I enjoy it very much,
but coz I just can't wait for it to end!
Each day I'm dragging myself for the "rehearsal" thinking,
"Will we doing any of my scenes today? How's the attendance?"
I'm just there each time for the sake of being there...
Thank God the place is near my house....
If I am to follow my heart,
I will want to just walk off from the production now...
But I do think of Raihani who introduced me to this as well as my efforts that I've put in...
Haiz...
I really don't want to complain but I just need to let it out...
The urge to just tell off all those kiddos & no brainer idiots is really almost to its limit..
I really don't want to create a scene & will want to leave this stupid production with a good name & enjoy myself with the few nice people...
Haiz....
What shit have I got myself into?

On the other hand,
oh man shit!
Work is piling up again & it doesn't seem to stop!
Ok larz I've been slacking since last week but hey,
it's my holidays yo!
I deserve a break no?
I'm just wishing that the holidays will be extended...
2 weeks lar kkz?
Can can?
Hehe...
Aiyo.....
I don't know where to start lar....
E-learning assignments, Imbuhan worksheets, MT Week Card, Meeting Minutes, Karangan papers....
Where to start?
Where to start?????
Aiyo~
Plus I don't really fancy long holidays coz,
it will just make me lazier!!!!!
Aiyoyo......
How ah?
How to start my engine back ah?

Tular Mak slalu pesan jangan tangguh2 keje
='(

2009-06-16T01:30:00.002+08:00

Don't know what's wrong with me lately...
But I seems to get agitated, annoyed, irritated, pissed of easily recently...
Minor things such as being late for meet ups sets me boiling...
I would start throwing things around, cursing freely & just being moody...
To say I am PMS,
my period ended long time ago...
Plus my sinus is acting up more frequently...
I'm even annoyed by my sinus...
I would blow my nose loudly & rub my nose till its red & the skin peel of...

What's wrong with me?
Am I down with some disease or is it pure fatigue?

Yes though I have not yet rest fully & properly since the break started...
Not even a day...
It's either I'm busy with tuition, rehearsals, gym,meetups with friends or family bondings...
Of all the above, I would actually sacrifice all the rest to have more time with my family...
But due to circumstances,
I have to forgo that for the time being...
Even my plans for a getaway are suspended...
I hope,
& I will make sure it happens,
that I will go for that getaway in December...
I'll make it happens....

On a lighter note,
yay!
Had the musical photoshoot on Sunday!
Yippe~
I swear I looked like one kepoh old hag teacher *ops* with the costumes & makeups...
But the suckiest part was,
the whole photoshoot was in a total mess...
No makeup person as promised,
costumes were all over the place,
schedule were jumbled up,
people came in late...
Haiz...
Don't want to comment...
It's not my club & I'm just there for this musical...
Important is?
I do my best & enjoy myself..
Period.
No use headache think of all the kiddos Diva la Vida darn behaviour....

As for now,
this darling want to snooze & have her beauty sleep...

2009-06-11T22:52:00.002+08:00

I is still very the full after tons of bbq meat entered the stomach...
BURP!
Me is need to hit the gym more to loose the meats thats attached to the stomach walls & stuff...

Alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why is there a flea market this sat??????????????
Of all days,
why this sat?
Alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hamzah can u release me early this sat?
I promise I'll be a good girl & do the scenes as per what you want...
Can can?

Oh thou flea market....
Why art thou on tys sat?
Me is no time to grab you on that day...
Oh thou flea market....
Why art thou on tys sat?

2009-06-11T02:16:00.002+08:00

Holidays are finally here & I'm soooooo super duper excited + happy!
Kkz though all travel plans have been cancel (postpone!!!!),
I promised myself that I must enjoy this break to the fullest!
Urgh ya right....
*rolls eye*
Tuition & rehearsals have already taken up all my nights except Sunday...
Darn!
So I'm left with?
My bright & sunny days...
Which will be partly gone too with gym sessions...
Which left with?
A lil to spare time with my darlings...
Sobz....
So sad....
& so I've decided,
I will not continue with anymore tuitions once the N Levels finish,
& I will not be involve in any other production will maybe perhaps next year...
That is if people still want me lah....
I will need to priritise my free time with,
driving license!
Wakakakakaka~
Well I realise very very much the realised ah,
that I am so packed with activities that I barely have time to spare with my friends!
Such a pathetic soul I am...
Bah!
No wonder still single till now....
Wakakakakakakakakakakakkakaka~

Well speaking of which,
aiyoooooooooo~
I'm reallly getting annoyed by "long time no see relative" when they keep asking,
"So when will be your turn? Are you with somebody now?"
Stop it lah seh...
I'm not any bit interested of being attach currently...
Maybe I don't even want to be attach or get married....
I'm happy with the way I am now though yes,
at times I do wish I have someone that I can throw my tantrums to...
But please lah ek,
stop asking me that fucktard question again...
It's really getting on my nerve...
URGH!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhoos...
Me is very the excited for the production!
Go Bibah!
Go Bibah!
Wakakakakakakak~

PS: Wth! People do actually contact the police when they are stuck in public toilets....Stupid morons

2009-06-01T21:09:00.002+08:00

Omg I didn't realise I was that terribly angry in my last post!
Yikes~
Am ok with Mum & friend (I think) but I will never ever look or think of that Uncle of mine in a better view ever again...

Anyhoos,
it's the holis!
Wooohooooo~
Kkz it's not really here yet though for us poor educators...
The whole day was filled with meetings from 830am all the way up to 330pm...
Gosh~
But hey,
received an applause from the VP just now...
Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaa~
Well it also means,
higher expectations!
Double Yikes!
The real holis for us will only start from this Saturday...
Can't wait for it to come!
Must plan my holis well...
But haiya,
the moolahs are drying up fast...
Any suggestions of cheap getaways anybody?
Guess my plan to Bintan will have to be postpone (yet once again, sigh) due to the ehem ehem,
surgery that needs to be done to my bank account...
*cough cough*
Speaking of which,
I soooo want to zoom to KL to try out the Marche Restaurant there...
Very unique market a.k.a pasar malam concept that currently doesn't exist in Singapore...
Affordable price if converted to SGD...
So,
any takers to zoom to KL over the holis?
;D

2009-05-28T23:14:00.002+08:00

I always wonder,
why are some people so petty & insensitive?
Is it even wrong if another person points out something about the person?
It is so hard to converse & get along with these group of low EQ people...

Within 30 mins, 3 person enlarge a small matter which by right,
is not even a prob at all!
A friend, followed by uncle, followed by Mom.

1st thing 1st,
kkz I know I shouldn't bring the matter up,
but I was just giving my point of view & opinion with regard to what you are saying...
'cause to me,
she did her work but it's just not efficient & effective..
She is trying her best but due to her own natural behaviour,
the outcome is not that fantastic...
I mean if you are so nitty gritty & keep blaming others apart from yourself,
why don't you take over her place?
See if it's easy or not..
I'm not siding anyone,
but please,
stop seeing things from your point of view...
The reason why I SMS you of the schedule that day before she does,
is because you are my friend so that SMS was meant as a FYI...
My intention was to just SMS my own group only since there was a change in the schedule & just in case there's no SMS sent to us regarding the changes...
Yes,
I was angry when you said "Don't start it. Don't start SMSing around before she does"...
I mean like HELLO~
I didnt even ask to send to all the groups...
Maybe it's my own fault for not specifying in the SMS to "pass around to the group concern only"
I know you are concern & worried that I might be bullied & being make use of if I'm too enthusiastic during practices...
Come on lar,
I might be enthusiastic & giving comments & helping out the others,
but do you notice that I only helped out my own group?
I'm already being selfish by doing that 'cause why?
I can't be bothered about the other groups since they are not even keen in getting help from others,
so why waste time with them?
I don't lar,
but I just hope that you will realise that you were being petty about this...
Partly it's my fault,
but you should realised too how you are behaving about this...

Secondly,
that stupid "1st Uncle" of mine...
I really wish for him to stop contacting my family & have any connections with us...
Please go away!
I don't want to acknowledge you as my Uncle moreover think of it...
To me,
you are just a piece of junk,
a piece of feaces who thinks that you are being made of Platinum...
What kind of "elder brother" are you who sends SMS such as
"keep it for death" to your younger brother?
Just because you refused to get the wedding invitation card from your own Mom's place does it mean you have the right to call your own sibling that?
Where's that freaking brain of yours?
Oh I forgot,
it's in the grave...
No wonder...
From now on,
I will not regard you as my Uncle...
To me,
you are dead & long gone....
I only have 1 Uncle on my Dad's side,
who is great & fantastic that is,
Pak Busu...
My Dad only have himself as the elder brother & 1 younger brother which is Pak Busu...
Pak Long or 1st Uncle doesn't exist on my Dad's side....
Please get lost!

& lastly,
my Mom...
Same story as per before...
Oversensitive,
emotional,
yada yada yada...
Don't want to dwell on it 'cause,
I know it will never change...
Haiz....

I'm really sick & tired of complaining,
but the more I keep it inside,
the more frustrated I feel...

Think whatever you want of me,
but this is who I am...

Like it or hate it...
You choose.

2009-05-25T21:16:00.002+08:00

It must be the hormones acting up again...

I've been feeling happy for no reason lately...

Siao char bo...

Oh ya by the way,

I'm hungry...

Yes,

for the 1st time ever in my years living,

I finally know how to differentiate hunger from stomach cramps!

Yayness to me!

As the holis getting nearer,

I'm getting lazier by the seconds..

Shyt~

How ah?

I don't even know what I'm typing now...

Whatever larz...

To darlz Aainaa,

Happy being legal darla!!!!!!!!!
;D

2009-05-24T12:27:00.002+08:00

Started the day with a contact lense stuck IN one of my eye..
Initially I thought,
"eh where's the other side?"
Search the casing like hell only to realise that there was something stuckish in the eye....
Close the eyes one by one & yikes!
The vision was blur when I closed the left eye!
Panic panic panic...
Went to search for the casing in case it's in there...
None!
Kkz...
Went crawling on the floor to well, in case it fell on the floor who know's right?
Wrong!
It's not there too!
More panic!
Then I remembered,
after I put in the lense on my right eye,
I rubbed it the "usual" way...
Hehe...
So that's how it got stuck...
But,
how to take it out?!
I have no absolute idea how I did it but eventually it came out on its own..
Thank God man...
During the panic period I remembered what happened to Aainaa when it happened to her..

She was sleeping on the bus & when she opened her eyes,
the lenses where pop!
Back on!

Heehee...

So the lesson of the day?

NEVER RUB UR EYES WHEN UR LENSES R ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

=D

2009-05-20T19:50:00.000+08:00

Grrrrrreat~
Down with flu,
again!

Stupid aircon at the Acropolis!

Urgh~

2009-05-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

Omg skool is getting rileker & rileker due to suspension of timetable to make way for the MY...
Well actually oni me tat is rilek...
E otha tchers are mad lyk crazy...
Ok tats a v bad engrish...
Wangkangkang...

Uhm reh is getting more intensive...
I loike....
But alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
We kip doin the same scene...
Borin' uh...
I wna do new scenes...
I wna test my ability!
I wna learn new dance steps!
But,
haiz...
my character have limited scenes & dance...
& im getting boringer & lazier to go for reh coz due to this...
I want smth tat I can werk on, tat I can improve on...
Instead, each reh we will do our scene & I get no comments from the D or AD...
Kkz I mite b irritating kip askin em wad I nid to improve on,
bt hey,
I can't b tat purrrfect ryt?
Confirm + gerenti sum parts nid to be werk on ryt?
Well I'm waiting for D & AD to tell me e list of comments/critics ey haf wrote femme as per wad ey sed juz nw...

Speaking of which,
manz I'm getting more annoyed each reh...
My 1st impression are usuali ryt...
& yes,
wad I tot,
is reli true...
I reli dowan to create a scene or comment or sae anth bt in e future if its not improvin,
I will haf to raise up...
For those hu noe me well,
I will b Queen Bitch once I start sae wadz in my mind...
Thank God my patience level is v high...
YPs...

2009-05-13T11:19:00.002+08:00

I am so SLEEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's e exams period & all timetable are suspended...
Good news: No CME classes
Bad news: Too much free periods & relief of classes are such a chore!
Simply hate to relief classes..
Thank god I wasn't a relief teacher before or I'll have a differen mindset of teaching career...
Manz I can barely open my eyes now...
Still have another 2 classes to relief after this...

God save this soul!

2009-05-10T17:59:00.003+08:00

Omg it's been eons since I last looked forward to June holidays!

I'm so excited!!!!!

Time to chill, slack, travel, catch up with old & new friends...

I can't wait!

Plus GSS is creeping it's way in too....

Such a nice timing!

Happiness,
here I coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome~

2009-05-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

Ok lotsa thangs to blog but am too lazy to type...
Maybe they should invent a thingy wer we can update blog by juz uploading wadeva is in our mind...
So instead of Vblog, we shall have,
Mindblog!
Cool uh?
Really good for lazy asses like me...
hekz!

2009-05-02T21:36:00.002+08:00

The worst pick up line ever:

"Cool hair! What do you called it? Perm is it?"

& the worst flirting line ever:

"Asal u asik muke masam bile nampak I?"
*translation: Why are you always so sulky whenever you see me?"

Guys nowadays are getting lamer & lamer...
Don't guys get it when we don't like them?
Must we say it out then they understand?
Can't they just read our body language & expression?

Oh gosh!

No wonder marriage are easily broken & birthrates are sliding down...

Guys are getting married & having relationship when they are still in the "cradle"!

2009-05-01T01:39:00.002+08:00

ouh cheekokuwawa...

Yay yay long holiday!
da lamer tk ader long holiday!
yay yay!

had a date with Mr Wolverine last nyt...
he sure was wol-furr-ricious!
grrr....
great graphics & storyline...
but would have been better if it is longer...
e ending was a tad too hangy...

nontheless,
as i've mentioned before,
i'm a fussy will-only-watch-good-movie moviegoer!
no sloppy 1K budget movie like "1 missed call" or "17 again" or even "high sch musical"...
uwek!

2009-04-21T23:07:00.002+08:00

oh gosh...
I need a break...
Realised I'm getting easily annoyed this few days...
Was cursing up down left right while waiting for the bus just now..
When in fact it was only like less than 5 minutes!
Damn...

Was it my imagination or the earth was really swaying just now when I was otw to rehearsal?
I swear I felt my whole body shifted left to right...
& my head just vibrated...
plus the legs felt heavy to move due to the gravity that was pushing down against my feet....

I know I keep whining...
I just don't want to cont tuition...
It's too tiring for me...
Anyone want to take over?

PS: I tore my top otw back from gym ystrd....Urgh! Paiseh to the max!

2009-04-19T01:45:00.002+08:00

There are so many things in life which are hard to let go off...
Some are forgiven, but hard to forget...
Or should I say, unforgettable....

At times I'm afraid to make friends cause I fear of being hurt...
I would rather shut my mouth till I'm comfortable enough to speak to them...
Most people are not aware of what I've been through or would not even believe what I've been through....
What they see each day is just a facade of me...
There's alot about me that most people do not know...
To me, it's best if they do not know...

Had a talk with a friend just now..
& I realised,
how fortunate I am to be where I am right now...
How I've developed for the past almost 21 years...
I keep thinking that I am not enough...
That I need to be more more MORE!
That I need to be more outstanding!
I didn't realise that there are other people out there who needs more support than me...
But at the same time,
I realised that there others who are just like the old me...
Who needs support & lost in direction...
Who wants to excel in life & be someone...
I can't say I've achieved my goals...
But I've been through phases in my life which I've done stupid things & commit stupid mistakes...
But all theses taught me how to grow up to be who I am today...
I'm fortunate cause I learnt from my mistakes & not carrying it on...
But that doesnt mean I'm perfect now..
I am still learning...

It's been a long time since I confide to anyone...
I'm just too busy chasing after my dreams that I am oblivious of my surroundings...

Nontheless, I am grateful of who I am today...
:D

2009-04-16T14:51:00.002+08:00

Oh Gosh...

Superbly shag & tired at the moment...
The P5 HMT studs are Zzzzzzz....
Only 3 kids in the class & there's no excercise for them to do apart from the workbook...
No worksheets, test papers NOTHING!
Boringest class to teach...
Sorry!
But haiz...
Can't blame the studs...
I myself don't know what to teach them when I myself don't even know what have they learnt!
This sucks!

I lost my temper at the P3s before recess today...
18 studs, but only 5 who really pay attention and want to study...
If there are no such things as "rules", I would have thrown the chairs at them...
But I know I can't...
There's so many rules to follow that at times, I don't feel safe to say what I want & do what I want...
Haiz...

Oh shyt e vp just pass by!
shucks!

2009-04-14T22:48:00.002+08:00

I'm fully awake but my mind is snoozing elsewhere...
Dammit it's only Tuesday & I'm on the verge of exhaustion-fatigue-zone out...
There's still Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday before the end of week...
Urgh!
That means no break all the way up till the following week's Sunday...
Dammit!
I need a rest man...
The Wonder Women is fully occupied!
Wooohooooo~
Urgh dammit!
So much to do so lil' time to complete...
Hate it when I can't concentrate on my task...
Hate it hate it hate it!

Kkz...
Chill babe...
Breathe...
You've been through this lotsa times babe...
Take a chill pill...

Gasp!
I haven't set the exams paper!
Oh oh....

Once you start, you can't stop...
But once you stop, you can't start...

2009-04-11T15:37:00.002+08:00

Stacks of work to be mark + an incomplete lesson plan + incomplete oral questions to be set =
LAZINESS....

Im sucha loser manz...
Ask me what have I been doing over the long weekends?
Nothing...
Zero entertainment value...

I'm just so sick & tired of people cancelling plans at the very last seconds due to lame excuses such as "oh I'm meeting my friend" or "oh I got something on"...
Helloooooooooooooooooooo~
There is a thing called:
Tech-no-lo-gy...
Don't bull me if you say you are so tied up that you are not able to spare a minute telling me that you are not able to make it...
You just have to pick up the damn cell, type in the text, find my number in the damn contact list & click on SEND...
Even a 5 years old can do that shit...

I'm just so tired to even think of socialising...
People take me for granted just because I'm the easy going person...
At times I just feel like being a hermit & don't mixed around with anyone...
People find me when they need company or when they need someone to hear them bitch...
But when it's my turn,
no one gives a damn...

I'm just so tired...
So so tired...

2009-04-05T01:05:00.002+08:00

i feel so unorganised...

my werk desk is all ova e plc...
my blog is not updated...
my facebook is horrendeous...
hw e hell do u even spell tat?
my hp is in a mess...
my ROOM is a disaster!

i badly nid a lappie with wireless...
yes ppl,
e lappie tat e sch provided still uses the Land Line...
duh!

*scratch head*

plus i haf tons of vids & pics tat ive not yet uploaded..

kkz im boring...

*yawn*

2009-03-23T23:45:00.002+08:00

Argh how to digest???

HMT HMT HMT...
how to teach HMT????

*panic panic*

1.5hrs of HMT...
how how how?

*panic panic*

1st day lesson from 8am to 330pm...
how to survive????

*panic panic panic*

I need to be a privilege Popular booskstore member...
Johor, I need you to be my BFF...

I need to eat more belacan & mix with more makcik makcik & pakcik pakcik quaters plus all the minah minah & mat rep mat rep...
Who volunteer or want to volunteer those eligible candidate as per the criteria above?
Don't worry there will not be any audition or test,
as long as their Melayu is superrrrrrrr thick berkarat Melayu I'll be more than happy & will treat them to any superrrrrrrrr Melayu warong exist in the whole universe...

Anyone?

*panic panic panic*

2009-03-18T21:37:00.002+08:00

ACHoOOooooooOOoooooOOooooo~

I need to get well..
I need to get well..
I NEED TO GET WELL!!!!

e nose is swollen again...
am I suffering from sinus?
pls God no...
btw is sinus a "nose cancer"?

I am getting worried of my sneeze...
it's been a few days I'm down with it...

2009-03-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

Where have I been missing to????
Yowza!!!

so much to update but am too lazy to wake the desktop up...
need a lappy very very badly...

at least I can update my Facebook, blog, clear my my omoz 2K email inbox, figure out a way to delete Friendster (yes I know, go to "setting>options>delete"...but HOW?????), download my pics to oh my god, I forget the website name...dammit! oh it's Photobucket...get my latest squish from Perez.com,MSNing...
from the couch in front of the telly (yes people, all of a sudden I'm watching more telly than computers nowadays...strange uh?), on the train, & whenever I am early for tuition or rehearsals...

had a tiring, humid, "oh my gawd I want-slash-NEED that bag" moment in Malacca the last weekend..
my initial shopping list was, a bag, a dress, Malay dictionary & references (yawnsville) & shoes...
guess wad I ended up with?
3 bags, a caricature plus my Malay dictionary & Malay-English-Malay dictionary...
nyehehehe....
I swear I could-slash-SHOULD have bought at least 5 bags that day...
thnx to the folks who keep dragging me away & walked away from me from the shops...
Booohoooooo~

apart from that,
my 3 weeks break (yupz I've finally resign from ehem ehem!!!!!) is so far filled with Gym (nyehehehhehe), tuition & rehearsals...
e whole body is aching (but in a nice way :D) at the moment...
damn syiok seh!
must must get a personal trainer....
tho that pantat just now made me work till my hands lembik lembik...
but the feeling after that,
especially after the shower,
woah.....

then off to rehearsal just now..
once again,
the knee buat hal again & again,
I didnt run just now...
but still,
the knee is aching too thx to the kuda kuda...
ouch!
but cant be compared to Luqman's...
poor guy kena squash till outta breath...
luckily nothing happened...
phew!

manz I really need to work on my stamina...
e body composition analysis is crazy!
i dowana die young people...

oklar oklarz...
me wana uhm slp i gues?
haha...

till next time~
(mebe in 3 mths tym? hohoo.....)

2009-01-18T20:14:00.003+08:00

oh no wadafark!!!!

Kayz its been eons since I last log in to the com & all my links in e thingy above u noe wer u type e website,
its GONE!
oh manz...
all e blog links & the website tat i used to go are GONE!
manz...
curses to Damn Blardy Stupid for making me werk so hard till I got no time for my own..
damn manz...
gargh gargh!!!!

kkz take a chill pill iLa..
its not e end of everythang...
........
gargh!!!!

2009-01-01T10:36:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW 2009!!!!!

Woah another year another adventure...
I bet everyone is blogging about the eve,
hw ey spent it,
hw awesome the firewerks were...
yada yada yada...

Me?
I spent it over at the office with,
"Good evening, this is iLa, hw can i assist u Mr/Miss/Mdm Cibai?"

U gottit right bebeh..
I was away greeting & aswering assholes nonsencical "queries"...

Well it wasnt thaaaaat bad tho...
We still had lil celebration with 1/3 a cup of wine
mine was a special sparkling juice as per normal duh!
& were released 45mins early..
45mins early babe!
FORTY FIIIIIIIVE....

but sadly,
i headed home straight as suckily,
im werking again today...
idiot...

Pray hard there will be early release again today...

*pls pls pls......*

2008-12-06T01:58:00.003+08:00

Me is ESTATIC!!!!
Finally,
e day is coming!
I cant wait for March!!!

Woooohoooooooooooooooooooo~

Meanwhile,
endure iLa...
endure till Feb...
ur dreams will come through soon...

*perhaps I should start blogging in Malay*

2008-11-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

iLa is shag & tired of her job...
She desperately wants to be in teaching but threw her chances away with the interview she had on Friday...
Each day she crawls to work & sleepwalk around the office...
Her only peaceful sleeps are on her off days & on the train back from work...

iLa no longer have much motivation to stay in her current job..
But her colleagues whom are near but yet so far,
advised her to stay on a little longer till she found a job that suits her...
She is in a huge dilemma.
A tiny voice in her tells her to quit by end of this month...
On the other hand,
another naggy voice tells her to stay on untill she found another job...

iLa is confused!
Who should she listen to?
The tiny or naggy voice?
She have went through quite a deal to get this job...
So is it worth it if she quits now & wait for a deal to appear?

2008-10-31T01:05:00.002+08:00

Omg I'm in dire need to splurge on a haircut from Tony & Guy!
Random but ya...

Work is a bitch with nonsencical working timing & annoying almost no company 90% of the time...
My blog entries are all so boring with no pictorial entries to booze it up plus no one is reading it..
Haha...
Perhaps I should just keep it to private just like all the other blogs...
Ops!
There goes my secret...
Oh wells...

I need & badly miss all my lepak & bitching ex & current colleagues assing their way out over at the other centre & other workplace...
Plus I badly need a holiday!
Away from home & Singapore!
Omg Bintan & Bangkok are the purrrrrfect places to be right now...
Pamper myself to hell with spas, massages, cheap luxurious shopping & whatnot...
Definitely,
a sweet escape....

Wer r ze moolahs wen I nid em?

Moolah moolah moolah~

I just fucking miss my colleagues fucking badly!
I need em!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-05T00:56:00.002+08:00

Gargh its October!
I've yet to achieve all my short term goals that I listed...
How to?
When I keep changing job & the current one,
I'm not even sure if I can make it through the training...

Life IS hard after graduation...
Thought I'll have more free time,
more kerchiiings to spend...
Kapuih!

1st thing on the mind during weekends is:
When the hell 6pm is going to come?
Followed by:
When the hell Friday is going to come?
Lastly by:
When the hell training is going to end?

But the worse is:
Will I bloody hell get this job?????

At the back of the mind each & every single day & seconds,
I am thinking of a Plan B...
But it seems that the Plan B is yet to be settle by me...

What should the Plan B be?
Should I proceed with Plan B now & be a quitter?

Work is crazy I have to admit...
But the joy & perks are there now & then...
The people are great though I know we will be split once training is over...
& that sucks!
Different teams,
different shifts,
different offices...
Haiz....
I don't know...

Each day & night I keep thinking of work...
Did I do the SRs, cancellation, procedures right?
Any fatal errors?
Any complaints?
Did I called back the customers?
How many overdue SRs are there?
Will I need to clear my locker tomorrow?
What will happen to me if I am sacked?

The answers to all of that if it happen:
Dissapoinments & shame...

"To err is human"
but to make mistakes repeatedly is not OK to a human like me...
More when it is a repeated mistake...
That's when I believed that I am not cut for this job...
Though I did well on Thursday,
on average,
I am the worst...
1st day,
a complaint & fatal error charge on me...
& up to date,
1 complaint, 2 fatal errors & 4-6 overdue SRs...

I am truly my workplace Champion...

2008-09-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

I can't...

I want to have this job.
But I know I can't pass through the training & I need to find an alternative fast.

It's only a week on the job training doing solo
& I've made/received:

1 fatal error
1 complain

Make it 2 fatal error since I gave a wrong information also...

& guess what?
All were made on the 1st day...
How demoralise do you think I am?
The 1st day & there's 3 mistakes I've done...
No doubt my performance is improving,
but it's improving in a snail manner & I've yet to reach the minimum target!

How?
I've no darn idea how to make up for those stupid mistakes...
I'm still doing my best & fighting for my place..
But,
those mistakes are huge & it will definitely pull down my performance diary...
I don't mind going for the 2nd phase but even after going through that,
what if I still don't make it through?
Won't I be wasting my time?
& it will take months to find a new job...
I don't want to dissapoint the people who have faith in me nor do I want to dissapoint myself...
I am pushing myself to my very best,
& I swear I will be terribly upset if I don't get the job...

This mind can't stop thinking of my fate of the job...
Will I get it?
Will I be able to pull through the training?

Only time will tell...
Only then will I get the answer....

Que sera sera.....

2008-09-20T00:12:00.002+08:00

farkin stupid shyt internet
blardy kip hanging
&*(^%$%^$&^R%76

oh gosh im stil feelin insecure of my current werk...

stupid internet...
damn damn stupid internet...

aiyo can i survive this job?
my syst knowledge is so weak & so r my prod knowledge!
im sure gona die frm mondae onwards wen we start gg solo...
darn!

muz reli start to look fer plan B...
fast!

2008-09-06T05:37:00.002+08:00

Okay........
Almost a month since my last update & the whole blogspot homepage change its layout...
In-tuh-rest-ting....

Oh wells am really sick & tired of my blog song....
Its de time for:
CHANGE
But lazy...
Later larz...
:P

Hows life?
Hows life?
Camner hidop?
Is there even anybody who uses that lingo?
I hope not...

Kkz why am I writing this entry in verses?
Weird....
Kkz this ain't a poem, people...
So please don't even try to read it with emotion...

Gargh I'm crapping!

Fine, will update again...
Soonish!

2008-08-17T01:17:00.003+08:00

Wargh!
Mix feelings mix feelings...

Celebrated the Leos belatedx6 bdae at Amirah's Grill with the TCeans awhile ago...
Mom is still silent towards me...
Finally just watch The Dark Knight...
Woooohoooooo~
Tired & sleepy but don't feel like sleeping...
Thinking about bringing the folks to BK breakfast later at the same time can break the silent between me & Mom...
Contemplating if I should accompany Sabz to Natasha's Bdae party tomorrow since that we've not been contacting & I don't know 99% of those who she invited...
Reminding myself to really tidy up my room later....
Which means I must not go out...
In conclusion I must sleep early to wake up early for my new job at DBS the next day...

Above are just the random thoughts that are floating in my mind for the past 10 minutes or so...
Haiz...

2008-08-12T00:03:00.002+08:00

~As I'm typing this entry,
the whole body especially the butt area,
is poking me with its itchyness!~

& so the day that I wasn't really looking forward to but was waiting for in anticipation,
has already come to an end.

August 11 2008.
The day Nursahila Bte. Roszelan turns 20.
The age that I've always complaint of being "weird" as it is neither teens nor adulthood.
True to this statement,
that's exactly how I felt throughout the whole day.

Neither here nor there.
Unsure of how to react to my surroundings.

Let's put it this way.
I was actually very dissapointed when I wasn't chosen as one of the frontline people at work just now.
Yes,
I badly want that so that I can at least get a little experience before I proceed on to my next job as a frontline Customer Service Officer at DBS next Monday.
But me being me,
the quiet wall paper that nobody notice everywhere I go,
was being put to the Corres team a.k.a.,
data entry.
I must've been a fool for setting my expectations so high & being all so confident about getting it.
Who the hell will put a quiet close to dumb person on a frontline?

So the basic point is,
I didn't know how to react when they announced the list just now.
Sabz got it I'm sure because she knows how to attract attention & be "oh I don't know how to answer so I'm gna try & be as funny as I can tho' I won't make sense but well as long as I get their attention. *wink2*"

Jealous?
Perhaps...
For the past 3 years I've been trying to understand people's behaviour & how many of us will always be amazed & like attention grabber people like Sabz & Wendy...
While we will always ignore & make wallpaper people like me dissappear into thin air & never to acknowledge us ever again.

Not sure for the rest of the wallpapers out there,
but I am sure hurt by all this "overlooking" of me everywhere I go...
True I hate to create a scene or purposely grab attention unneccessarily but at the same time I've yet to find someone or people who notice us wallpapers for who we are;
Quite but with substance.

I'm not sure why the hell I am writing all of this down.
It's nothing about you Sabz,
really!
It's just that I always question myself why do people always overlook & don't remember me?
What should I do to make them notice me?
Why can't I just be brave enough to make myself outstanding?

At the age of 20 now,
I've yet to feel proud nor a sense of achievement accomplish.
There is still a dark blurry oasis covering my view....

2008-08-05T00:02:00.002+08:00

~Stop & stare...
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere...~

Oh manz...
Its officially 24hrs since the end of Singfest but the brain is still ringing with the songs from the performed artists...
The heat, the dizzy spells, pushing & shoving was all worth it...
& oh the discounted tix that comes along with the Levi's T was sure worth the money...

My virgin concert event & I went to Singfest!
Haha...
Was totally lost in all the performance that I don't care if I'm surrounded by people that I don't know...
Heehee...

Jason Mraz was da bomb!
The best performance followed by Alicia & One Republic...
Awesomest performances!
Even the Dolls caught my attention...
Granny should know how I dread for them to perfom cause' cause of them,
I had to endure an additional hour for Alicia to perform...
But they were great too...
They managed to make me move...
Haha...
Panic was a bit disppointment thanks to the dear microphone..
Even so,
I could barely hear Brendon...
He was disgusting by the way,
soaking wet with the hair stuck to his face & drenched in his own sweat..
Yucks!
Ryan was soooooo cute!
I felt like jumping over the barricade & squeeze his pale white cheeks...

Manz I have lots to blog about Singfest...
I can still feel its adrenaline...

~Cause' it's 9 in the afternoooooooon~

2008-08-02T01:27:00.004+08:00

You know,
whenever the word "perm",
in reference to full time job surfaces,
the first thing that will always come to my head is,

"No, my curls are natural!"

*smacks smacks smacks*

I know I know...
What an bimbo I am...
But I can't help it!
It's not that I will shout it out loud through my teeth or stuff like that...
The stupid not-supposed-to-even-have-a-respond-that-dumb respond will just answer itself in my head...

I can't help it!

It's the course of nature!

*winks winks*

Speaking of which,
I'm thinking of dying my hair,
to brown (again)...

But I don't want to...
Me loike me hairs the naturalz colors.....
Its looksz nicerrr in itz naturalz colors & hintss of brownishnesss underz the lightssss....

*smacks smacks smacks*

Bad attempt in tweetering...
NO!
Must NOT even have an attempt in tweetering!

*dush! dush!*

Ok now what?
It's freaking towards 2am & I am bloody awake...

Maybe I should think of what to wear for the coming days...

Uhm...

Maybe I should ask Sabz help in this...

SABREEEEEEEENA!!

2008-07-28T23:48:00.002+08:00

I wanna travel...
See the world,
interact with people of different cultures,
being amazed by their beauty...

*sigh*

What Mom said of me is true...
I simply can't put my bum to rest...

"Even your elder brother doesn't wander around as much as you!"

*shrugs*

Can't help it Mama...
I'm born with it...

Remember how I would climb the tables, chairs & whatever that's infront of me back then when the only thing I knew was crawling?
Being awake 20hrs a day even back then in kindergarten?
Ransacking the whole house instead of taking my afternoon nap?

Haha...

Guess what?
These habits are still stuck in me till now...

The only diference is that,
instead of climbing around,
I choose to have a freaking packed schedule...
Otherwise,
I'll feel damn restless...

Just like today,
or yesterday,
I knew I needed to be online to submit my resumes to all those employers...
But I choose not to cause' bro was using the computer...

Haha...

Lamn excuse but ya...
The main thing is,
now that I just, finally, quit my job at that horrible audit firm,
& production is over,
I feel so empty...
I feel so lost & aimless....
Drifting...
Floating around...
I'm so used to have a damn tight day-to-day schedule that once all is over,
I'm lost...
Suddenly I lost focus & don't know what to do...
Or where to start to begin...

No doubt I've already accepted the job at Mothercare,
but apart from that?
What else is in store for me?
Will there be another production?
Will I be able to travel?
Driving license?

I've yet decide what to do in the long run...
Or at least,
in the short run....

2008-07-24T23:33:00.002+08:00

KABOOM!!!!
I'm ending my work soon!
I'm ending my work soon!
I ending my work at A.S. Mohamed & Co. SOON!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait can't wait can't wait!

4 months of suffering...
Eating curry, resem, papadum each & every single day...
Seeing accounts full of figures each day...
Answering phone calls & making out what the clients were saying every day...
& not forgetting,
feeling depressed & unsecure every passing seconds....

Oh how I am looking forward to this joyous day...
The day I'm leaving A.S. Mohamed & Co.,
creating new chapter of my life book....
Exploring options,
grabbing opportunities,
knowing myself more!

OH GODS OF EARTH & LIGHT & SKY!
DO YOU HEAR THIS JOYOUS CRY?
THE SONG OF THE DELIGHTFUL GIRL...
CRAZY WISH TO STAY ON HERE
WITH NO ONE ELSE BUT HERSELF...

OH HOW SHE CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THE PLACE!
OH HOW SHE YEARN FOR THAT...

& WHEN COMES THOSE JOBS OFFER,
SHE GRAB THE CHANCE & DIDN'T LOOK BACK!
SHE KNOW SHE'S RIGHT

SO HERE SHE IS STANDING UP TALL,
WITH NO REGRET IN LEAVING THE PLACE!
FOR SHE KNOWS,
SHE DID THE RIGHT THING...

woohoo~
amaciam?
gerek right my stanza?
heheh....

I really miss production very badly...
So badly that I actually cried to sleep...
Boohoo...
& the scenes, songs, lines just keep playing in my head the whole of Monday...
I've never miss any of my any other productions this much...
Maybe cause I know that there will be another annual production when I was still back in TC...
As for this,
I have no clue if I ever will have another chance to be on stage again...
='(

It's almost a week since the last show,
& I'm still missing it badly...

2008-06-22T19:40:00.002+08:00

Ah so many shits that I wanna do, eat, get & go to!

First thing first I must must must get rid of this annoying runny nose
*is runny nose=flu?*
by tonight before Azman force Panadol down my throat again...
Well that is if he's coming to work tomorrow...
hehx...

Okz I've lost my points to blog...
Parents in the living room with the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park is calling out to me...
It's the time for,

Family Bonding session!
*minus bro of course*

=D