Just 30 minutes ago,
a hari raya house visiting ended with a broken glass frame & bleeding finger & toe.

FUCK

3 things that I don't want to hear during Hari Raya:

1. "When are you getting married?"
2. Bitching of the other relatives.
3. Quarrels among siblings & relatives.

2,000 in 5 years!

Was toying around with the new found design tools in blogger and came across a photo video thingy to which I thought
"Hey why not try this tool & compile pictures from the past 22 years of my life & upload them?"
Sounds cool right?
So there I was for the past 2 hours or so,
signing in and out of dusty photobucket and friendster to retrieve all those good old pictures...
*Didn't know I have a Web Picasa account too!*
& not forgetting the old virusy FB account....
To my horror,
there's at least some good TWO THOUSAND over pictures just for the past 5 years!
*faints*
It may not sound Whoah to many,
but Whoah to me!
Since when I took all the photos manz?
I can't even hold a ditzy digital camera properly!

So yupz,
moral of the story,
Whoah!
That's some history tracking for me~

And so it seems this space has collected more dust than my 6 years living in this house!
Hehx...

Wouldn't it be interesting if there's a device which can read the thoughts and instanteneously update the space?
But then again,
all our thoughts will be known to the world nay?
Well maybe the device can be programme to what content and when we want our thoughts to be updated on the space...

4 months passed since the last update,
& yupz!
Life has been such a rollercoaster that I can't believe I'm still in 2010!
Bummer....
At times I just wish the years will pass by faster so that I'll grow old faster & face the consequences of all my sins...

2010 is definitely NOT my year...
Friendships broken,
people moving away from me,
blood ties breaking,
health dwindling....
At the end of each day,
back to dearest self to pick herself up again...

On a lighter note,
it's the same phase year in year out for the last 22 years right?

It's just a matter of time when I will be completely crazy & trap in the cell alone talking to 4 walls....

Wouldn't it be great to be young and carefree again...

Life's too confusing...

We chase for things that are not ours,

& neglect things that are ours...

Pardon for the angsty vibes that I've been sending out lately...

Call me pathetic,

call me desperate...

But all I need at this moment,

is a pair of listening ears,

that can be there for me when I need them...

I can't remember the times I hugged Mum as compared to the times I hugged Dad...

I just want to be love,

not hate...

Why can't anyone see that?

#1 on Hate List:

Mom



#1 on Love List:

Mom

The weather has once again Garfield-fied me...

Wouldn't it be great if it's the semester break?

Lazing around on the lazy sofa in the hot humid weather with a glass of ice latte in hand,

cool air-conditioned air blowing gently across the room,

Jason Mraz serenading through the radio speakers...

Gosh....

Wish life is that great....

It sucks to begin your day drenched in your own sweat...

Panting and sticky as you make your journey to the MRT from home...

Wiping the neverending sweat that keeps trickling down your forehead and neck until the tissue packet runs out...

All you could think of were cool Ice Tea with bubbles or the cool blue swimming pool that glitters under the scorching sun...

Then you started cursing the train driver for arriving late and not blasting the air-conditioned...

Began staring at brainless commuters who push their asses through the tiny train doors...

Life ain't fun at all when it's a burning 39 degree celsius for the past 4 days...

Though it rained a couple of times...

It's ain't fun at all...

Garfield just want to chillax with a cuppa ice latte...

Sometimes,
I don't know what I'm doing with my life...
I can feel so aimless,
lost,
unsure,
confused?...
I have so many plans so many goals to achieve,
but gravitity is always pulling me back to where I am...
There are so many thoughts running through my mind each day,
so many questions that are left hanging...
It's mentally draining to keep repeating this phase of life that all I want to do now,
is to just sit down...

I'm tired of finding of searching of chasing of changing of pondering of fearing of...........
............................................
I'm just plain tired...

I really don't know what I'm doing with my life...

Hail the Moooooosic!!!!

Tak Payaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~

Thanks to those that helped me find the real meaning of

Tak Payaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~

a.k.a "Cabarett" in Haitian Creole,
sang by the well-known Wyclef Jean (The doode above) in "We are the World-25 for Haiti",
these are the interesting facts which I accidently found out while madly trying to find the meaning of

Tak Payaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~

1) French is widely speak in Haiti
2) Haiti Creole is the language of Haiti, which is an adaptation of the French language
3) That husky country singer is Jennifer Nettles
4) There's lots of Haiti Creole-English translation online
5) Cabarett might or might not be a Haiti Creole word, as its not in the dictionary...well maybe its really "cabaret"? Who knows...

Plus other things which I can't remember now...
So,
who says music is a waste of time & mindless?

(~.^)

PS: Oh shoot! That girl is so lucky to win $180 on air! Shoot her!

Who says shopping is a waste of time?????

Shut up you losers!!!!!

Retail thereapy is the most effective way of wasting time & destressing!
Kkz fine so I did mention "effective way of wasting time"...
But hoots!
As long as it's a way of detressing,
it's coolios bebeh~
The best form of retail thereapy is definitely the "oh let's just window shop today" style...

Why?
'coz this are the moment which you will find the unusual "oh-I've-thought-of-getting-this-this-&-this-before" goodies which usually happens to be on sale, discounts, offer, promotions and whatnot....

So what nonsensical I-definitely-don't-need-these-but-I-need-to-since-it's-on-offer-&-I've-convinced-myself-that-it's-a-neccessity goodies I got myself this time?

PS: Bear in mind the main objective was get to get a Chelsea FC Jersey from Adidas only...

1) Miniature Victorian necklace watch - $15

2) Palm size "Quotations for a Special Teacher" book - $4.90

Plus some other "neccessary" goodies...

But the good part was,

I was successfully convinced into being New Look's member & tadaaa!!!!

A stack of vouchers & discounts plus a free bag was thrown into my face!

How cool uh?

All for only one time membership payment of $50!

Vouchers from

Giuseppe zanotti design
Aigner
Liz claireborne
t.m.lewin
dockersHolland & barrett

New Look

Out of which 90% I've never heard of...

Bleh so what?

I'm a happy goober!

Who's not if they only need to pay $20+ for 2 New Look's Bottom?

Not counting the free goodies received...

Hehe...

I is need more retail thereapy!!!!!

Random ones that is...

=D

Not forgetting the aftermath of random shopping with an empty stomach...

8 donuts (2 had been eaten before pics could be taken -_- )

1 Med & Reg freeze

2 scoops yogurt

Yupz that was my dinner bebeh!

"Telephone" is the new whack video on repeat mode...

Haha...
Reaction: What?.....Oh...Kkz...Cool!!!
Haha...
So yupz...


But what I really need now are:



Brain Juice Extractor....
+
Cheery Mood Implant...

Or I will look like this soon
\/
\/
\/
\/
\/
\/

I have to say,
the recent balek kampung was one impactful and significant visit...
Especially the visit to Moyang Busu's house...
*Youngest Great Grandparents*

These are the 2 sayings by Nek Yang Busu that have definitely pulled my heartstrings...
*Youngest Great Grandma*

"Ambik buat kenangan, nanti tak tau boleh ambik lagi ke tak kalau dtg lain kali".

*Let's take for memories, you might not know if there's another opportunity on your next visit*

These were said with bright smiles and giggles while we were taking photos with them..

"Nih tak lama lagi mesti ada orang nak, lawa".

*You are pretty, a guy will come ask for your hand soon*

I couldn't help but control my tears from pouring while this were said...

Insyallah Nek...Insyallah...

Kalau ada jodoh...

If only she knew what I've been through...

It's not easy to find someone who truly understand and appreciate you for who you are...

Insyallah Nek...

If only I could let her know...

Thinking of Tok Yang Busu

*Youngest Great Grandpa*

made me missed my own Grandpa...

Would he look like that if he's still around?

Would he wear those clothes if he's still around?

I miss him so much...

I don't know why,

but recent years,

I've been missing my Grandpa so much that there were times which I couldn't sleep thinking of him...

I know it's not good to keep thinking of those who've returned but I couldn't help myself...

I miss him more each time when I'm down...

& I'm longing for him to be by my side...

To be his favourite Grandaughter,

sitting on his laps,

taking walks together and being lost in a shopping mall looking for Toys 'R' Us...

Would he be proud of who I am if he's still around?

Would I still be his little girl if I come running to him each time someone wreck his little girl's heart?

Would he protect me from my folks scoldings?

Would he guide me to the correct path?

Would he lift me up when I'm about to fall?

Would he?

Would he?

Adik miss you so much Atuk...........

The lovely couple who had made my visit to the kampung,

a worthwhile and precious memory....

Tok Yang Busu & Nek Yang Busu

Tada!!!!!

The very overdue Kumar update...

In short,

it worth the laughs & sort of set the brain thinking a bit,

though it was a tad bit too short worth the price...

Plus:

1. I was stop for IC ie. Identification Card *hello, I'm way above 18 larz dei!*
2. Free condoms were distributed! lolx...Thinnest brand somemore... :p
3. Me 1st time watching a performance in Esplanade Theatre! *usually watching the free shows or helping out in the events *1st time! 1st time!*
   
   

The free condom!

Will preserve & frame it up...hehex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Driving was my saviour for the day...

If not for it,

I would be agitated, irritated, annoyed with everything in the way...

Bukit Gombak>Clementi>Dover>Jurong>Choa Chu Kang>Bukit Batok>Bukit Gombak...

=D

Road trip ala feeling feeling...

Lolx....

Omar is the new love =)

Wish I could squeeze it hug it paw it cuddle it use it as my pillow!
Well,

provided it's properly trained to tame with all the claws & teeth extracted out...

=p

Roarrrrrrrrrr.......

& oh,

the kambings are sucha cute creatures too!

I wish I could carry it in my arms & feed it...
So manje.................

Mbeeeeeeeek~

Ooooh I want to go back to the Zoo again & visit all these lonely animals...

Especially Omar!!!!!!!!!!

*Dun worry, I'm not obsess over an animal...lolx*

Ok I am suuuuuuuper annoyed with this Thursday's school visit schedule...

Can they please *effing* stop changing the timing for goodness gracious me?!

I freaking have a practical lesson at 2.10pm & I can't afford to forgo it as there's no other available slots left this *effing* week and I wouldn't want to sacrifice $59.60 for that freaking session followed by I have *effing* tution at 5pm right after the lesson...

So please please I'm begging whichever doink who's handling the arrangement to please STOP changing the timing please thank you!

* I bet the doink is even reading this entry...whatever~*

Gosh I've never type such a long sentence on this space before...

Anyhoos.......

The 1 week break just kicked in but oh wells,

it still feels the same for me...

School has been an ass with last minute assignments thrown into our faces but as usual,

iLa lurrrrrves putting things to the last minutes...

As for now,

I is just want to chill back & rilex

*yeah right*

& enjoy the following events up the sleeves:

Tuesday - Zoo cum Ain's 22nd! Yippeeee~

Wednesday - Gym cum threading with the Stingray

Thursday - (oh-so-not-looking-forward) Haig Girl's school visit->Driving->Tuition

Friday - sigh project miting with the Nurul...Nooooooooooooooo~

Saturday - Kumar Kumar Kumar!!!!!! Yaynesss~
Sunday - sigh....project again....Mook's with Wani & Nurul...

My Weekends

Saturday, 23rd January 2010
8.30am: Finally woke up from snoozyland
9.30am: SMS kid's mum informing her I'll start session 30mins late
10.45am: Finally reach the tuition place
12.45pm: End tuition and off to Tampines at my own sweet time
2.30pm: Reach Tampines earrrrrly....sigh...
2.45pmish: Met Hamidi
3.15pm: Finally after dozens of durians dropped from the tree, Zaiman arrived
4pm: Off to Simone's after much debate
4.30pm: Reach Simone's
4.30pm-9.30pm: Hehe haha & dog chasing at Simone's
9.30pm: Get lost from Simone's
9.30pm-10.30pm: Chill@TM's Mac's
10.30pm: Get lost from Tampines
11.20pm: Feeling irritated with a Bangla who kept nodding his head at my shoulder...Idiot!

Sunday, 24th January 2010
12mn: Reached home
1.30am: Off to Mustafa with folks
2am: Reached Mustafa
2am-5.30am: Zombified@Mustafa
5.30am: Get lost from Mustafa
6am: Reached Geylang
6am-8amish: Breakfast with eyes closed & headbanging...
9am: Reached home
9.10am: Knocked out without showering...
4.30pm: Woke up & showered
5.45pm: Family left me at home alone with makeup halfway done
5.50pm: Rushed out the room with makeup halfway done
5.51pm: Rushed back up, cursing & swearing to get hp..
5.52pm: Back in the car & continue my makeup
6.15pm: Reached CCK park to meet Pak Busu's family and nenek
6.30pm: Blew and cut nenek's Birthday cake...Happy 68th Birthday Nenek!
8pm: Both families walked and nonsensing around CCK Park
9amish: Sayonara from CCK Park
9.50pm: Reached home
11.30pm: Told myself 2 hours nap before doing schwork

Monday, 25th January 2010
11.30pm-5.30am: Woke up every hour telling myself "5 mins more"
5.30am: Get off from bed, switched off the lights and snooze...
8.30am: Woke up zombified and as usual, late for meeting with Sha...*smacks*

A very fulfiling and zombified weekends...
=S

~I hope 2010 will be a better year for me~

That's what people have been wishing and hoping for themselves each & every year...
Same as me!

Well 2009 had been a remarkably good year for my career but a terrible year for friendship...
Lost 2 good friends,
one right smack on the New Year's Eve...
Well not because they died,
but let's just simply put it as:
"I'm no longer needed in their lives as they find me an irritant or simply I'm not important in their lives"..
Well for those who knows,
good for you..
For those who don't,
don't bother asking...

Did I regret anything that happend in 2009?
Oh of corz...
A handful of it...
But what's done,
can't be undone..
Let bygones be bygones...
Hurt?
Definitely...
Life have to move on irregardless...
No use crying over spoiled milk though crying is what I've been doing since the year started..
Lolx..
Such a baby I am...
=p...

On a lighter note,
2009 was also an awesome year as finally!
I got a headstart in my dream when I 1st signed the NIE/MOE bond agreement...
Haha...
Yessa!!!!
After almost a year trying out other jobs,
I'm finally chasing my childhood dream...
Pray that I will do well in this line as I've always dream of..
=D...
Plus,
2009 was one hellavu year of new bonds created (err ya that 3 years "bond" included...sigh)..
the 6ixes...
DBS ladees...
TCeanz diva...
Friends and lovely cuzzin getting married & engaged...
tsk tsk...
Am so happy for them!
Haha...

I dare say being 21 was the best year ever!
New experiences,
new journies,
new friends,
new stage of life (ehem...I wanna be a kid again!)
& oh gosh...
new responsibilities...
haha..
But in all,
I'm happy & contented that all those happened...

As the saying goes,
(plus a dear friend once told me):

"Things happen for a reason"

Am just happy that I still have my family and friends with me through my roughest times...

Thank you so much lovelies...
Hope it will not only end here...

=D