The body shivers
Longing for warmth that was long gone
As the heart beat a slow rhythm
The eyes welled of sorrow

The scars recovered
But the heart continues to bleed
It bleeds a silent wound
That is nvisible to the naked eyes

Scream!
It's screamin!
Painful silent screamin!
The soul inside is screamin!

Bloodshot eyes bulging out from the pale face
As cold sweat driped down the neck,
The mouth gasping for air
The lips curled an unbearable pain

As the November wind blew from the East
He lay there
Oblivious to the rest

Slowly...
He blew...
His last breath...
Alone...
Along the West Coast..
A pack of Cannabis still tight in his grip
The friend, that's always there for him

weeeeeeeeeee~

my short term shoppin list:

1. Black tappered pants ( must!)
2. Wet & Wild tan double foundation
3. Lady's watch fer mama
4. Piggy bank fer bro
5. Slippers
6. Hair treatment & trim
7. Portable makeup casing

tts fer nw...wait til i hv more money to complete my long term shoppin list...
hee...
*seems "shoppin list" is e latest trend fer blog entries*

Fall
Hit hard on the ground
Till it bleeds
Till blood flows down the river

Let the whole world be against you
Let them hate you
May the word "die" relate you to them
Wish they isolate you in a corner

Despise them all you want
Fill your soul with angst
Fill your soul with gore
Let them bleed

Make the universe shake with your breath
You are powerful
Do all you want to take revenge
No one stopping you

Because no one cares
All drown in their own illusion
Mesmerise by delusion
Honouring the satans

But
Is this the way you want to lead your life?
Clueless & Aimless
Control by the satan in you

Revenge is sweet
Yes,I agree
Question is
To who?

Do you want to take revenge on your own parents?
Maybe
Do you want to take revenge on your siblings?
Maybe

How bout taking revenge on yourself?
Or your god?
Why not?
Anything is possible in this aimless world

Life's a cup of noodle
Humans & nature are its ingredients
Relationships are the boiling water
Love, is the noodle

Think through

~ingin ku upcapkan~
SELAMAR HARI RAYE!!!!!!!!

yeah yeah...
raya's here agn...
nt reli excited bt cnt wait fer it...
kkz...
doesnt mk sense...
bt wat e heck...
im in festive mood!
hand's achin frm al e hswerk done...
cnt barely stretch my right hand...
hpfuly no1 grab my hand wen salam em ltr....
raye is celebrated ala kadar tis yr...
s i said,im nt tt excited...
oni cnt wait fer it to kum...
coz cnt wait to outz wit e peeps!
wel tt oso depends if evry1's free...
mst larz...
A's larz...
tt larz...
tis larz...
myk susah woo....
weeeeeee~
cnt wait cnt wait cnt wait...
bt fer sure i wil nt gt s much duit tis yr...
sobz....
i nid money...
perhaps i cn do a muker cianz....
den mebe ey'll gv...
heehee...
i miss al my peeps....
AIPS....
YTSS...
even poly frens....
peeps,if any1 of u hpn to read tis...
jgn segan jgn silu...
nk outz ajak aku!
it rhym tho...
heee....
anws....
to all my muslims frens outz der...
Eid Mubarak...
forgive me fer al my wrongdoings & may Allah grant ur doa's...
Amin...

sth's getin in e way...
sth's juz boutta break...

wat an eventful dae...
v v e contradictin...
e person tt u hate e moz turns out to b ur "secret admirer"...
lolz...
im stil recoverin 4m e shock...
altho i noe boutit b4 he told me...
i dun even noe wer to begin...
lets juz sae e end...
:p
we let out wateva tt we've bin kipin in us fer eons...
so in e end e tension among us ended in errr....
emo mood?
lolz...
i cnt werd to describe it...
neva in my lyf have i eva open up till lyk tt...
except fer at hm larz...
todae was e 1st tym...
luckily oni certain close frens were der larz...
hp ey wil kip al tis to emselves...
if othas noe...
aiyoyoyo....
malu larz dey....
hehikz...
btw yay!
i gt lathi role fer army daze...
*tribal dance*
will b a challenge coz i hafta cross culture & nid to b fast to catch up all of it...
since we gt less than 2 mths to perfect it...
oh well...
i lurve challenges...
except fer bein challenge in study....
tt i cnfrm lose...
lolz...
oh well...
hp evrythang will b betta nw...
i noe fer sure its difficult to chg a person...
bt i will try...
i will tk tis s a challenge fer me...
& i hp god will b on my side to support me...
amin...

boohoo...
went fer shisha session bt cnt tk it...
coz e friggin waiter din mk it fer us..
& we hadta wait fer more than 1 freakin hr...
by e tym e thang arrived i cnt tk it...
coz by e tym i hadta head hm...
& i din wana tk e risk to try it fearin tt it might smell...
dowana geddit frm e folks agn...
bt i sooooooo wana try it...
ya its smokin...
bt its fragrance...
it smell nice...
i dunno hw it taste...
hu cares hw it taste...
its freakin suwit smellin larz...
anws i tried a puff of justin's garam gula...
suwit...
bt i stil prefer sampoerna...
its suwiter...
ouhkz i cnt wait fer e camp...
gona try shisha durin tt tym...
plus cherry smoke...
tink tts wat ey kol it...
e pink ciggie...
suwit suwit smellin ciggie...
oh my...
im soooo wana try tt too...
well i guess nxt tym...
hpfully wen e next tym kums i cn try it...
mayb durin e camp...
well ey did plan to go mos durin e camp too...
awww i so cnt wait...
hpfully we will hv a same ppl agn...
:)

gosh ila...
pls dun go bck to ur old self ila...

a long tym since i reli tried doin tutorials...
& guess wat?
i cnt do it!
lolx...
it doesnt hlp tt e qns tt i nid to present is though...
*well at least tts wat e otha bright students sae*
hee...
im gona geddit frm tt michelle tmr...
worse,e cls is at 8am...
first thang in a morn...
& e dae stretches til 5pm...
wat a great way to end e weekend...
:D

e daes passed...
mon to sun, sun to mon...
its too fast tt u hafta catch up wit it...
no tym to breathe...
no tym to snore...

u feel hopeless...
darkness surrounds u...
u started to lose ur cool...
all of a sudden,u bkum e bitch evry1 hates...
evry1 ignores u...

bt deep dwn inside...
regrets fill ur soul...
u din mean all those nasty werds...
e werds spoke spontaneously...
& u din even realise it...

till u were alone...
surrounded by e 4 walls...
no1's around u...
silence e oni company...
negativity invades ur mind...

u r in desperate hlp...
sum1 to tok to...
bt its late at nyt...
evry1's aslp...
evry1,except u...

guilty u feel...
s u reach fer e phone u kol e person u hurt...
bt der was no ans...
all u cld do was leave him a message on his hp...
s u wait patiently fer e rep...

an hr past...
no rep...
u r in desperate nid of company...
agn u reach fer ur hp...
tis tym,u leave a message to sum else...

in it,u told him nt to rep...
bt juz to listen to ur sorrows...
u felt so lonely...
sobbin & hurt...
u went to bed...

e new dae arrive...
u stil feel e same way s e nyt before...
s ur mind drift away...
ur hp vibrates...

u pick it up & read e message received...
it was frm e 2nd person u message e nyt before...
slowly,u open e message...
"its oni natural for us to act tis way.so dun blame urself.smile to a betta dae.ur smile is wonderful. :)"
unnoticed,tears started to welled..

it md ur dae...
instantly,all ur sorrows were wiped away...
all u cld c were light...
s u read e message agn...
a smile form on ur lips...
e first,genuine smile, in weeks...
:)

thx so much...
u sld noe hu u r...
altho i doubt u will b readin my blog...
u md my dae...

B.I.Y.A.T.C.H.

B-e
I-n
Y-our
T-otal
A-bsolute
C-H-aracter

totalie...
im so piss off by AJ's effin attitude tt i myself felt tt i was actin lyk a freakin effin bitch...
my temper is gettin frm bad to worse...
i cn almoz blow up at anth...
even minor teeny weeny thang...
& fer sum effin rzon,i simply cnt shut my gap even fer a min...
bt al tt kum outz were effin shyt...
y cnt i sae sth sensible?
y muz i owis sae shyt stuff & feel horrible aft sayin it outz?
cnt i b more sensible & sae appropriate werds?
y muz i swear & curse each tym i open my gap?
e worse part is e feelin aft tt...
swear & curse all i wan,bt in e end,regrettin it...
juz wish i cn shut my blardy gap up so tt ppl cn enjoy peace & nt tinkin of me anotha way...
wat e eff bitch!
will ya chill & fer hell b wise?
oh fuck
i totalie felt horrible aft sayin mir's bad habit or watsoeva to esther...
y cnt i juz shut up?!
juz shut up bitch!
i dun exactly noe hw he feel bt i did feel horrible aft tt
if u readin tis,
sory mir fer tt...
it was a sudden shity outburst....
argh i feel so terrible...
i noe its minor stuff bt i feel lyk shyt coz its sth personal...
i mean sth tt nt many ppl noe...
& i noe esther lyk 10 mins oni larz....
& der i went sayin bout sum1 else's bad habit....
frig ila...
& gabe too....
so so so sory tt ey noe bout reg...
it was initially wasnt me bt mir hu notice it...
i juz sae tt she has a bf & u dun....
guess i blurted it outz aft tt...
bt it seemed tt he gt wat i mean...
oh i feel so horrible ryt nw...
plus aj...
yupz....
i was piss at u...
bt aft tt, i feel horrible myself...
i hope u read tt sms....
i reli reli reli hate tis feelin...
well s i sae,if u noe me well u will noe my style...
u r at fault too anws...
ah i dowana dwell on it further...
many ppl muzhv tink tt im a total bitch...
which i cnt blame em...
coz i brght tis upon myself....
oh ila....
fer goodness....
pls change ur attitude...
its nt cool u bitch...
stop cursin & swearin...
it will gt u nower...
plz....
stop it...
chg ur attitude...
agn....
im sry to those hu ive hurt....
im reli sry....
promise i will chg myself..

tired eyes...
bored thots...
lifeless soul infront of a lifeless screen...
s American Idiot blast tru e ear drums...
laughters of e rest echoed...
Korean drama it seems...
s e songs frm e MP3 repeat itself...

ah...
anotha typical dae in skool...
exactly 24 mins to Finance lecture...
tt old che koh pek...
wonder wat jokes he up to todae...

......
tis entry leadin to no wer...
juz empty werds...
fingers hit e keyboards s & wen ey lyk...
lookin at my fingers...
2 rings,1 frm each hands...
a metal watch on e left hand,a wooden bangle watsoeva on e ryt...
wat a lyf...

head spinnin s usual due to lack of snores...
eyebrows kum togetha fer no reason s e fingers hit e keyboards...
mind missin al she noes...
fer no particular reason...
juz missin...
met an old fren dwn e hallway otw to foodcourt...
pls...
i din eat...
juz went to e fc coz ders no otha plc to go...

nonsense...
e mind thot...
coz ders particularly nth to blog bout...
y bother...
duh...

18mins to Finance...