I Nid Enlightenment

bin feelin in e dumps e past few daes...
bt fuck hell!
i dun even noe y im feelin tis way..
skip classes since sch reopens on mon...
givin fuckin lame excuses fer skippin it...

its a mix up feelin...
kinda lost bt at e same tym please wit it...
happy?
im nt sure...
piss?
prolie...

bt i juz dun geddit...
y m i gettin al werk up?
tinkin back,
did sumbody offend me?
m i hurt by sumbody's remark/comment?
or m i juz ovareactin?
wat hv i done til im feelin shyt lyk tis...

im juz lost...
i dunno wat to do...
hu to tok to...
bottom line is,
i dunno watz my prob!
& tt feelin is bein brght to my slp too..
dreamt bout al tis shyt fer daes...
slpless nytz...
its suffocatin...
seems lyk e air arnd me is thinning...
bt y?
watz wrong actually?
i wana scream...
til al e mirrors break & shattered to pieces...
it wun solve e prob...
bt it'll definitely mk me feel betta...
much much betta...
each tym i wana scream,
sth juz hold me back...
& e feelin of shoutin juz died dwn...
im confused...
reali confused...
bt y?
its al a mix up weird feelin...
i dunno...
i reli dunno...
m juz lost...
i nid sth to perk me up...
mk me feget al tis unnoen shyt hpnin...
or at least mk me feel betta...
i cnt run away frm probs...
tts a coward act...
wana run to sumwer quiet...
sumwer tt my mind cn drift far far away...
mk me feget my probs fer a while...
mk me feel betta fer a moment...
m desperate fer tt...
feel so weak wit al tis shyt...
its killin me silently manz...
& i dowan tt to hpn...
i wan to live my lyf fulfillingly...
it sets my mind off solvin othas prob wen im havin prob...
i dunno y...
bt it juz gv me e joy & a sense of satisfaction doin it...
hakz...
weird i noe...
its juz one of those "ila" thang...

well i guess fer nw...
i hafta find sth meaningful to do to get ma mind off tis shyt...
nid to start muggin lyk hell...
tt is, if i cn get ma mind off...